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America’s Got Candidates

Nov 022012
 
 By , November 2, 2012

Better than debates: Reality show series for candidates would increase viewership

What if instead of debates, we just had a series of reality shows.  After all, that’s something Americans can tune in to.  We could call it America’s Got Candidates, and through a series of episodes we could really get a look at the candidates and see just what they’d be like in action…or uh, at least see more of what they’re like after make-up and while the cameras are rolling.

candidates reality show Romney, Obama

Romney and Obama. Photo by Arvarja, flickr.com.

We could start out with Dinning with the Candidates and take an intimate look at the entertaining function of the Presidency.  Each contestant, uh, I mean, candidate, would host a mock state dinner so we can see just how he and the first lady will present our country.   What would they serve, what would they wear, how do they look dancing.  It would be fabulous.  Then Americans could text in their votes for the winner.

Next up: The Deadliest Candidate, where we delve into more serious matters.  Each candidate would handle a simulated major terrorist attack or act of war.  Moderators could evaluate how each implements the power and resources of our country in a crisis.  Forensic and political experts could debate the affects and effectiveness of each candidate’s approach and strategy.  Again, at the end, we Americans could vote, via text, for whom we want to be the Commander and Chief Executive based on seeing the choices in action.

After that, the issue of budget and finances, and in an Apprentice-like hour called the Tax Man, where candidates would compete for a tax deal that would pass through a mock congress.  Since Abe Lincoln or FDR isn’t available to moderate, I would suggest Chris Christie or even Bill Clinton – he has the hair, and is probably available.  Heck, Donald Trump himself might just sponsor and host that show.

Next: Beltway Wives, an up close and personal look at potential First Ladies.  After that: Runaway Budget, a 60 minute segment where each has to figure out how in 4 years you can evaporate 40 years of reckless financial management.  Then the nail biter:  Survivor Candidate, where each would have to simulate recovery from a natural disaster.

Lastly, we could wrap in all up in an election season finale.  On the final episode of America’s Got Candidates, we could dig into the past and present of each candidate in an “It’s Your Life” format, bringing on guests both for and against each candidate for interviews about their personal experience with the candidate.  It would be a kind of a behind the scenes look at the lives, the birth certificates, etc., of each candidate.

It would be refreshing if we could just openly succumb to our need to be entertained and admit we want a candidate that looks good in a bathing suit, can play and instrument, sing and dance and in general just make us feel good.

It might even solve the whole Electoral College issue — and voter registration problems too.  We could simple vote at the end of each show and at the season finale, all the votes would be tallied and we could be sure to put the most suave man in office.

Yes, I think I’m on to something here, and I bet someone in Hollywood is already working on it for the 2016 season already.

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Kate Morrison

Kate Morrison likes to make up stories, especially ones that could be true, on some level. That's why she writes fake news articles for the Humor Times!
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