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Siege of NRA Headquarters by Outraged Citizens Continues

Dec 282012
 
 By , December 28, 2012

The siege at the NRA Headquarters has entered its second day. Irate citizens, sickened by the NRA’s constant arrogant promotion of guns of mass destruction in society, especially in the wake of the child shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School, have repeatedly attacked the facility using suicide bombs and mortars. Interestingly, they have not been using the assault rifles and hardcore guns that the NRA is famous for defending. Instead, they have decided to vent their feelings “Iraqi style.”

The assault on the NRA Headquarters began yesterday, when Chester Lonefield, a Philadelphia man who has lost a daughter to a school shooting with an assault rifle, a mother to a drive-by shooting victim and a cousin to a murder victim killed with an illegal handgun, all walked into the lobby of the NRA and triggered a bomb, detonating it and taking out everyone in the vicinity including themselves in the blast.

A series of similar bombings continues in what appears to be an organized assault on the infamous lobbying organization. The perpetrators often yell, “Here’s some mass destruction coming back at ya!” and “If it is OK for you it is OK for us!” They are apparently tired of the NRA’s manipulation of American laws and heavy handed influence on Washington politics regarding guns.

Coordinated mortar rounds, bombs and grenades were soon thrown at the building from its perimeter. NRA personnel, all carrying handguns, soon returned fire. Casualties on both sides appears to be high. Many of the injured and dead inside the building seem to be hit by fellow NRAers. The attackers seem to be so angry that the return fire is not diminishing their quest to vent on the NRA.

Police and FBI agents, long a target of nutcases with assault weapons and guns of mass destruction, have cordoned off the area, but do not seem to be lifting a finger to stop the attack. In fact, they seem to be allowing the insurgents to pass through their perimeter to replenish their forces and bombs. There is even talk of a local police force lending a helicopter to help resolve the situation more quickly.

A phone call for help was recorded by a Police dispatcher and released to the public. On it, the CEO Wayne LaPierre pleaded for help in the attack: “We are being besieged by American terrorists who are attacking us with bombs! These should not be allowed! They should be banned in the first place! How can any normal citizen deal with such a device that can kill and maim so many! You must help us! These people must be some kind of bomb nuts!”

To this, the Police dispatcher can be heard snorting and saying, “Now you know how we feel so often!” A second officer came on the air, asking LaPierre, “Aren’t you the same fella who called us ‘jack-booted government thugs’ who wear ‘Nazi bucket helmets and black storm trooper uniforms’​? There was a long silence at the other end of the line, then a click as he hung up.

More news as we get it.

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Roger Freed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor. For something in a more serious mode get "The Book Of Songs" by Roger Freed from Lulu.com. A collection of short stories illustrating the subtle and powerful influence music can have on our minds and our spirits.