[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
New numbers have come out indicating that in the next year, the states of Washington and Colorado will have the highest number of home sales in the country. What makes these states so successful? The numbers indicate that it may very well be the recent marijuana legalization for recreational use there. Mobile home sales and lots of land alone are poised to skyrocket.
Marigold Sunshine Parker has been growing her own marijuana for decades while running the family’s mobile home park in Bremerton, Washington. She was one of the first people to light up on December 6 without fear of being arrested.
“Finally,” said Parker, 65, “I had to become a grandma before I could smoke a joint legally, but I made it,” she said, her long arthritic fingers barely able to grip the joint she was relishing. “It’s a good day to toke,” she said, but then added an ironic twist.
“All these years I was scraping by, not knowing if and when I’d ever sell a trailer to make enough to buy some pot illegally,” she said.
“Since the marijuana legalization, I can grow my own, and I’m selling property like crazy. When it rains, it pours, she chuckled, her blue eyes twinkling beneath an even bluer Washington sky.
Parker says that she now has a waiting list for homes in her 55+ adult mobile home community with park-like setting due to the high (no pun intended) demand from folks like her wanting to come live in the land of the free.
“And the community get-togethers are so much better now,” she beamed. “We’re like kids again,” she said, putting down her joint and taking another bite of a brownie her neighbor Harriett brought over that morning and washing it down with some home-made herbal tea.
According to last month’s records, it seems to be that way all over the state. Not only are trailer parks filling up to capacity, but sales of single-family homes, condos, co-ops and even small recreational cabins in both Washington and Colorado have almost doubled in price.
Other states in the nation are taking notice, which makes the boomers in America very happy.
Dan “Big Dan” Olsen, 63, of Yakima Mobile Home Sales had this to say “Who knew that pot would be the one thing that finally brought this country out of a slump?” Then he pumped his fist into the air and yelled “Rock on dudes,” before tending to his indoor herb garden.
In a related story, Florida was just named the unfriendliest place to relocate by AARPP (American Association of Retired Persons and Potheads) due to the strict anti-marijuana laws. Real estate prices there are expected to remain flat until legislators come to their senses and pass marijuana legalization there too.
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