[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
“Legalize It” by Peter Tosh heard booming from boomer marijuana caravans across the land
News that the recreational use of marijuana has been legalized in Colorado and Oregon have boomers all over the United States plotting plans to get their fair share, while doing their best to stay under the radar of the local authorities.
“Maravans,” they are called. Caravans of cars that are leaving from large cities in the US and headed for the two states that have what they want — marijuana — are becoming a regular sight on the nation’s back roads. Fearful of bringing even the tiniest amounts of the illegal substance onboard an airplane has lent itself to some good old-fashioned hippie-boomer ingenuity.
“Me and the old lady have terrible back pains and we are sick and tired of the doctors giving us narcotics to treat it,” said Graham F., of Austin, Texas.
“Colorado is only a day’s drive from our home, where we have friends who will sell us the good stuff. The price is hefty, but we are willing to pay to have what God intended us to have as we get older and need to deal with various medical maladies.”
The kindly old hippie has opened his home, as a staging area for caravans headed for both Colorado and Oregon. He has turned an acre of the six that he owns into a quasi-campground where friends can congregate and map out the plan to hit the farms in Colorado for their medicinal needs.
Recently, a group of his fellow maravaners drove to his home in Austin from as far away as Charlotte, North Carolina to join in a good old-fashioned hippie caravan to a mecca that promises to bring them all the healthful benefits of marijuana as well as some happiness and camaraderie they have been missing for the better half of their lives.
“It’s like old times again,” said Paul B., a retired carpenter from Somerset, Georgia, who just arrived at Graham’s home the evening before.
“We’ve been sitting around, giddy like little kids, talking about the good old days. Marcus brought his acoustic, and Mary Ellen, his wife, has one of the sweetest voices I’ve heard. We’re all just having a down-home hootenanny of sorts, with some Dylan and Zeppelin mixed in for good measure,” he said.
Graham doesn’t charge for allowing folks to camp on his property.
“They pay me in friendship,” he said. “And they share their good fortune with me around the campfire at night before they head back home with their treasure,” he added with a smile and a wink, “if you know what I mean.”
Ed. Note: The last names of the caravan participants were not used for obvious reasons.
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