[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
The WHO (not the band) revealed at a press conference yesterday that they have yet to find a cure for an age-old malady: crazy.
After spending the past month or so dealing with a new strain of bird flu (H5N9) in China, officials with the UN organization have admitted their attempts to corral a new strain of cuckoo in east Asia has been frustrated at every turn.
Health officials, along with the rest of the world, were cautiously optimistic early last year but now fear that the lunacy has gotten out of hand.
“It appears there is no panacea for poppycock,” revealed Director-General Margaret Chan. “Lord knows we’ve tried–we’ve exhausted every resource in our efforts to stem this pandemic, but to no avail.”
Director Chan, known mostly for her keen observations and positive spin on North Korea’s great work at combating obesity, is no stranger to idiocy.
Although the medical arm of the United Nations remains committed to the cause of a cure for crazy, they concede that the antidote for this ailment may lie outside of their realm.
“We may just have to ask our colleagues at the UN to issue a very stern letter of disappointment and hope that guilt, a very powerful potion in its own right, will succeed where medicine has failed.”
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