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[Disclaimer: This article is a "fake news" piece. Proceed at your own risk!]

Ringmaster Carney Helps Turn Obama Scandals into Fun for the Whole Family

May 162013
 By , May 16, 2013

Hoping to make Obama scandals disappear with magic

In a colorful press conference held at the White House a few days ago, press secretary/circus master Jay Carney lived up to his last name as the Obama scandals piled up like elephants in a circus ring or clowns in a clown car.

Ringmaster Carney Helps Turn Obama Scandals into Fun for the Whole FamilyFrom Benghazi to the IRS to killing American citizens without trial to Michelle possibly changing her hair again to now this.

Mr. Carney began the wildly entertaining event by reminding everyone that the Benghazi exhibition could be viewed in the smaller tent just outside the main arena under the banner “sideshow.”

Just as he finished speaking, twenty military drones buzzed the big tent towing banners that read: Progress!!

The president arrived with customary flair and, after issuing a brief statement, wowed the audience with his signature disappearing act.

“I had no idea that guy (what’s his name? Older? Oldman? Yeah, Gary Oldman), I had no idea Gary Oldman was still in charge of the Department of Situational Ethics.  If I had, he’d be long gone because of that last “scandal” thingy (we are calling it that right?).  Although, to be fair, it’s hard to really blame him for it because he also had no knowledge of the stuff and whatnot and goings on that happened–I’m not at liberty to elaborate because it’s for my eyes only.  But don’t worry, I haven’t seen it.”

Mr. Carney, juggler extraordinaire, finished the evening festivities with a classic plate-spinning performance that would’ve put world record holder, David Spathaky, to shame.

This show, though not getting nearly the press coverage (or media-infused emotion) it deserves, could possibly become the defining moment of an increasingly eventful Obama administration.

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Jeff Boldt is an English teacher living in China and the writer and editor of Iron E-News, a website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world -- at times all too closely mirroring our own.

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