[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Diet pills work miracle, much to woman’s surprise
Heather Halley once tipped the scales at 300lbs and spent her days as a white woman who would listen to My Chemical Romance and would write depressing poetry about the men at her job at Target ignoring her, but those days are long gone.
Halley lost so much weight that she wrote the makers of Slim Chance and told them her story, and they decided to put her in a TV commercial telling America that Slim Chance really works.
Heather’s weight loss has also opened doors for her to work as an African-American model. “It’s weird, men used to ignore me when I was fat and white. Now, that I lost all this weight I feel comfortable in my new skin,” Halley said later at a photo shoot for some rapper’s album.
“Even my own family doesn’t recognize me! My mom says, “Who are you? Did you kidnap my daughter?! We all laughed at that one over the first few months.”
Halley has made the steps to record her first album and signed on for her first reality TV show.
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