[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
A preview released by Netflix last week on its upcoming documentary Mitt shows the robotic Presidential candidate appearing human. While it may be somewhat of a stretch for most to believe, it is important to note that Mitt Romney did have his moments. They were just too few and far between to really matter when it came to choosing the leader of our country.
In the movie, Mitt, it also shows a human side to the Romney family as a whole. There are some bloopers in the movie that will have you laughing out loud. One moment in particular has Ann Romney casually driving down a country road in New England when suddenly she applies the brakes, pulls the car off to the side of the road, turns around to the back seat, takes a count of who is in the car, and realizes she left her husband at the last stop they made, 30 miles away.
“Oh, my God, where’s Mitt?” She screams into the camera, re-enacting the moment she realizes her husband isn’t asleep in the back seat as usual.
The Romneys had taken their grandchildren out to pick pumpkins and were on their way home to their estate in Belmont, Massachusetts when Mitt told his wife he had to go to the bathroom.
“Normally, we would have taken the RV on our drive,” said Ann, “but this time, it was just me, Mitt and a couple of our kids’ kids and we figured we’d just take the buggy.” (Ann’s endearing term for her Cadillac SRX).
In the documentary, Ann admits she worried that Mitt’s prostate might act up, necessitating a need to go to the bathroom a lot during their little outing, but she figured she could just stop alongside the road if need be since they’d be out in the country, and there were enough bushes for him to go behind without being seen.
Documentary makers grappled with the idea of leaving this last statement in the film as it depicted the Romneys as a tad too much like the rest of us, but decided they liked the idea of viewers imagining Mitt Romney peeing outdoors.
The incident that led to the scene in the film where Ann realizes she left her husband back at the gas station occurred in Peabody, Massachusetts.
“Mitt told me he couldn’t hold it any longer and since we were nearing Peabody, I drove into the Peabody Truck Stop and let Mitt out.”
Ann says that while Mitt was in the restroom, she took the grandkids inside the store to buy some snacks.
“We took a little longer than expected, and then I had to go, so I brought the kids back to the buggy and went back inside to use the facilities.”
Ann said that when she finished up, she went back to the SUV, put the keys in the ignition and just took off.
“I guess I just assumed that since we (meaning her and the grandkids) had taken so long at the gas station, that Mitt had already gotten into the buggy and was ready to go. I honestly didn’t think to check,” she said, now chuckling at herself for what she admits was pretty boneheaded thing to do.
“Anyway,” said Ann, “you know the rest of the story. I got on the cell phone and called Mitt and told him I’d be back to get him in about twenty minutes or so. I told him to go into the restaurant at the stop and wait for me.”
Ann claims that what was odd about the whole ordeal is that you would think Mitt would have gotten the message about ten minutes after being left at the station that “hey, I think they left me here,” but that wasn’t the case.
“With Mitt, you never know,” said Ann. “I’m thinking he just wandered into the shop and lost track of time. He loves to look at stuff, especially stuff he’s never seen before like pickled eggs and ball caps,” she said. “He loves to find ball caps with new funny sayings.”
Netflix will debut the documentary Mitt in late January, 2014. And if you are wondering why it didn’t make the big screen or at least aired as a special on CNN, most critics say it just isn’t good enough to hold anyone’s attention for more than say the time it takes to go to the restroom and look at funny ball cap sayings at a truck stop.
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