[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
How could such a conservative station be riddled with subversive types?
The conservative news station FOX News has been found to be riddled with subversives, anarchic souls whose unwholesome lifestyles do not conform to FOX’s strict, right leaning policies.
Even more surprising, some of these cancerous maladies that weaken the proud morality this nation is based upon have apparently been operating within FOX’s orbit for decades.
The worst of these moles is an entire family of malcontents whose code name is “The Simpsons.” Dwelling for decades under the pretense of being an All American Family in the Midwest heartland of Springfield, the antics of this troupe has been corrosive to the very spirit that this country holds to be holy. FOX has apparently not only supported this anarchic bunch for decades, but has profited immensely from their antics.
The family members of the Simpsons makes for a Who’s Who of American traitors to the cause that would equal the Rosenberg’s. This clan of USA underminers include the father, Homer Simpson who is the veritable anti-theses of the the ideal American male. Bald, fat, crude, vulgar and weak-kneed in the face of jelly donuts, he is…um…oh, forget it! He actually is the symbol of the modern American male.
Let’s go on to his son, Bart Simpson who is the veritable image of a trouble making, rabble rousing brat, already molded into the mentality of being acid to all the good virtues that the USA is known for. Add to that his sister Lisa, already at the age of eight a feminist lesbian in the making, already possessing radical ideas and ready to burn her bra at a moments notice were she old enough to wear one.
Some of these communists in sheep’s clothing have already spread their virus through the FOX channels and passed beyond. The 70’s Show followed the mayhem ignited in the Wisconsin of aforesaid decade by a gang of depraved small town kids. Their mop headed, lust fueled lives marked the decade that most dismantled the stalwart Calvinistic morals our forefathers baptized this land in. Their engaging in beer, per-marital sex, establishment by-passing teenage lifestyles imbued and illustrated the pot infused decadence that under 21’s of that time wallowed in and still do.
It is strange to think that in all this time those guardians of the gates of our moral and political purity- Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Ann Coulter and the other saints of FOX’s conservative elite, have not seen this peril within their very midst and spoken out against it. Some skeptics theorize that these very subversive elements have ironically helped to fund FOX’s war chest with their vast appeal and popularity. This would make FOX a two faced entity which could surely not ever be true.
Other red underwear wearing series that have appeared on FOX that bear scrutinizing include:
Family Guy – another Rosenberg-esque family portraying family virtues while engaging in every manner of decadence possible ( Family guys creator has revealed his Red roots publicly at his hosting of last years Academy awards).
Ally McBeal – featuring such un-American institutions as a shared male-female restroom in a law firm (Gasp!).
The Chevy Chase Show – is there anyone more Un-American than Chevy Chase?
Futurama – a apocalyptic warning of the future for all patriots if there ever was one.
MAD-TV – a gold standard for badly moraled people setting bad examples like dandelion seeds in the wind.
The Wanda Sykes Show – destroying white American one joke at a time.
Joan Rivers The Late Show – allegedly the originator of undermining American values sometime back around World War I.
Married…With Children – the show that first set the status quo for the new dyfunctionality in American families.
The Tracy Ullman Show – bringing in a foreigner to help bring down America.
The George Carlin Show – the King of the hippies and dopers himself being given a show on FOX? Heaven forbid!
Patriots, it is time for a pogrom at FOX Television! We need a McCarthy-esque witch hunt to rid our most American of stations of its moles. Let us all grab our guns and head over to Australian Ruppert Murdoch’s office right now!
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