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10 Popular Song Questions and Answers

Apr 242014
 By , April 24, 2014

Songs love to ask questions, but where are the answers? Right here.

Many songs ask questions: How can I be sure, in a world that’s constantly changing, how can I be sure, where I stand with you? Etcetera. But ask yourself: how many of these songs give us answers to their questions? Precious few, unfortunately.

song questionsSo here at last are answers to 10 of the most popular questions in classic songdom.

Q: Where have all the flowers gone?
A: Gone to florists every one.

Q: Who put the Ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong?
A: Julia Childs. She also put the Lamb in the Lamba Rama Vindaloo.

Q: Will you still love me tomorrow?
A: Possibly; but to be technical, I don’t actually love you now.

Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
A: No, but my iPhone has Google Maps Version 2.2.0.

Q: How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?
A: One

Q: How do you do what you do to me?
A: I work out twice a week with a personal trainer.

Q: I’ve been cheated, been mistreated, when will I be loved?
A: Take off 10 pounds, fix the nose, get a personal trainer… then maybe you’ll be loved. At least, you won’t be mistreated, made blue or lied to.

Q: Why don’t we do it in the road?
A: Because someone may be watching us … besides, you always insist on being on top.

Q: Does anybody really know what time it is?
A: Does anybody really care?

Q: How can you measure the life of a woman or a man?
A: You can use dog years, but it will make them sound very old.

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Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

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