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[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]

Hillary Clinton Asks Woman to Throw Second Shoe, Matching Handbag

May 072014
 By , May 7, 2014

Shoe-lover Hillary Clinton would like more, please.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, as everyone knows, had a shoe thrown at her a little less than a month ago at a meeting to discuss recycling and waste management in Las Vegas.

Hillary clinton shoe

Hillary Clinton: “Is that all you got?”

Apparently, though, it was all just a big misunderstanding.

Mrs. Clinton’s press team released a statement yesterday expressing thanks to the woman who gave her the shoe and that the former first lady absolutely loves it.

According to witnesses at the event, the shoe-lady, identified later as Alison Ernst, only had time to give her the one shoe since she was immediately tackled by very large men and taken away.

The press official went on to say that if Ms. Ernst could go ahead and meet them at the next scheduled speaking event, she is free to throw the rest of the ensemble in the general direction of Mrs. Clinton (who will be ready this time).

“It actually wasn’t an athletic shoe like everyone thought,” the former first lady said. “It was a lovely grey and blue pump that matches a dress I have.”

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Jeff Boldt is an English teacher living in China and the writer and editor of Iron E-News, a website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world -- at times all too closely mirroring our own.

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