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[Disclaimer: This article is a "fake news" piece. Proceed at your own risk!]

Americans Confused: Germany Scored One Touchdown to Beat Brazil, 7-1?

Jul 152014
 
 By , July 15, 2014

Germany won the football game, but how did Brazil score their extra point?

The American public was shocked yesterday to hear that Germany’s football team successfully defeated host nation Brazil by only scoring a single touchdown the entire game.

germany, world cup

German player celebrates touchdown.

According to FIFA, no one has ever lost by that margin in the history of the Cup.

“They must have really strong defenses,” a man at a local sports bar offered.  “Kinda like watching the Saints and Panthers, I guess.”

Also worthy of note, this was the first time another team has been awarded an extra point without actually scoring a touchdown. However, FIFA officials are looking into the matter to see why the refs didn’t award Brazil a field goal.

“We were just as confused as anyone,” reported the sideline referee.  “Brazil came up to us saying they had scored but they hadn’t.  They went ahead and set up for a kick and so we compromised and gave them a point.”

Needless to say, it was one of the strangest football matches ever.

A fraternity member at a local university had this to say: “My friend (from Germany) came running out of the dorm screaming and hollering ‘We killed ’em!  We killed ’em!’ and so I thought it must have been a blow out–like if Alabama had played Navy or something–but then I saw the score and was really confused.  World football is weird.”

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Jeff Boldt is an English teacher living in China and the writer and editor of Iron E-News, a website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world -- at times all too closely mirroring our own.