[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Have we upset the delicate space-time continuum with the Rosetta space probe?
Shocking news has emerged from a leak by an anonymous source inside the European Space Agency.
While cheering the successful landing of the Philae space probe, launched from its mother ship Rosetta, onto the surface of the icy comet, one technician noticed a slight crack starting to form on the comet’s surface a few centimeters from where the probe landed.
Previously, there had been no concern that the comparatively light weight of the probe could affect the comet in any way.
However, scientists then realized that there had already been a crack in the comet’s surface, and now the probe has apparently tipped the scales, “un-mending the ice that was holding the fractured portion onto the surface,” as one expert put it.
As a result, approximately one-third of the comet is now expected to break off, changing the mass of the comet and its trajectory, so that one piece could be headed straight toward earth.
Half of the agency’s Rosetta scientists and engineers are now working on calculating how long it will be before the collision, and if they can find a way to divert the comet.
The other half are working on building a space station large enough to hold the agency’s scientists and their families — “just in case.”
Diane de Anda
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