[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
‘I’m so proud of my accomplishness,’ says former president
A Humor Times Special Report
WASHINGTON, DC – Winding up a month-long whirlwind tour of press interviews designed to burnish his legacy, now-former President George W. Bush seemed visibly emotional recalling his years in the White House in a session with Bill Moyers, to air soon on PBS.
“I want to thank the American people,” he says during the show, “for supporting me so unanimously, right up to the end.” When Mr. Moyers pointed out that his approval ratings have been among the lowest in history for sitting presidents, Bush replied, “Yes, and that is so thoughtful, trying to keep me humble like that, so I would continue to work hard. And it is hard work. I worked hard every day.”
Moyers’ questions were wide-ranging, as the host probed Mr. Bush on topics ranging from the 9/11 to the Iraq War to Katrina and the economy.
“As for economistic matters, I think I was able to save the country from the worst of it. You know, that Clinton really made a mess of things,” said Bush. “And as for Katrina, we did a heck of a job, as you know, flooding the area with relief.”
Despite Moyers’ attempts to get Bush to admit to some mistakes, the ex-president was upbeat. “My style is not one to wallow in the past,” he said, “and history may misunderestimate me, but reading is not my thing, so I doubt I’ll even see it.”
Towards the end of the interview, Mr. Bush began to show some emotion, and close-ups even reveal a tear at one point, which he quickly brushed away. “It’s just so great to be the decider-in-chief of the world’s greatest country, and to make great history the way I did. I know I’ll be remembered for generations, because everyone says there’s never been a president like me.”
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