[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
‘Fake news is one thing,’ Trump tweeted, ‘but telling the truth disguised as humor, like this so-called satirist Borowitz guy, is just treason. Bad!’
NYC — Popular New Yorker humorist Andy Borowitz was arrested at his home last night by federal police acting on the direct orders of the President.
“He will be waterboarded and subjected to other extreme interrogations — we’ll see how funny he thinks that is,” a White House statement said.
“While his failed humor is merely insulting, it has recently become clear that his so-called jokes are the result of some kind of secret access to the inside of the president’s head and the White House men’s room. This is treason.”
Mr Borowitz has been taken to an undisclosed location pending transfer to Guantanamo Bay where, the statement added, he will be “re-educated,” his fangs and cerebral cortex surgically removed by Nurse Ratched, and possibly released in eight or ten years.
His family have lodged an appeal with the “so-called” Ninth Circuit Federal Court in California.
“Look, alternative facts are one thing,” said talking skull Kellyanne Conway in an MTP Daily interview with Chuck Todd.
“But alternative alternative facts are something else. In Mr Borowitz’s case they amount to revealing state secrets, so when the Reichstag, I mean Congress, burns down next month, we’ll know exactly who to blame, won’t we?”
Asked to give some examples of the dangerous satirist’s truthful lies, Conway cited a recent column in which he revealed that the voices in Trump’s head are guiding his policies. Earlier columns disclosed plans to suspend the Constitution and solicit prominent black leader Frederick Douglas’ endorsement of Jeff Sessions.
Asked what was wrong with telling the truth satirically, Ms Conway smiled grotesquely, her teeth shining like the Cheshire cat’s.
“The truth,” she noted, “is always revolutionary.”
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