‘Bathroom Humor is a Gasss’ or ‘Not a Pot to Piss In!’

What’s the big deal about finding a man in a Ladies Room or a lady in a Men’s Room?

But enough about me!

First of all; my eyesight is going & that was one excuse.

Bathroom Humor, gender neutralSecondly; when I really have to go — I don’t care if it’s in front of Tiffany’s — I’ve been know to…

… well, it’s all in the Affadavid.  I know, I know — that’s the lawyer’s name!

Who exactly is against women standing at urinals waiting to sit in it — or wash out a few Deplorables … I mean unmentionables?

And, who exactly is against men who can help us if the Tampax machine keeps our dollar & needs a bang or two?

Oh sure, there’ll always be the lone-wolf-budding-Prevert getting his jollies; but no matter how old we are — we females know how to take care of him — lock him in the stall — light a match (just for the smell) & pull the Fire Alarm!

Who’s reporting all this fuss — the Bathroom Attendants with Code names like “2 Ply” & “Holy Sh_ _”?

And, how many of these cases are we talking about anyway — Trump Inauguration Crowd Numbers or the number of sex partners I had this week?

Don’t answer that!

Okay, I just looked it up — Gallup Poll estimates 150,000 Trans Identity teens in the U.S. — the largest in California, Texas, New York & Florida.

No matter what’s in their pants; I believe persons dressed as females are not going to whip out anything to scare little boys & persons dressed as males aren’t going to flash their Muffin Tops to scare little girls!

What’s the big deal – we already have “Family” Bathrooms that I don’t dare enter.  If I wanted to hear wet crying babies & obnoxious toddlers begging for Cinnabons; I’d go to a Weight Watchers meeting!

As far as transgender students having a safe environment when they’re doing their business (and it is their business) G-d made us all in various shades & flavors — but while he made Adam & Eve & Steve — he also made (don’t call me) Shirley!

But, who wants to walk in their shoes –– not me.  So, whether it’s a pair of Florsheim or 4 inch Bruno Magli’s — give the gal/pal (don’t call me Whatzit) a break!

So for now, guys … if you ever see me racing into your John — get out of the way or watch your shoes!

Whether it becomes Federal or States Rights — let’s hope they rule on the side of compassion.

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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