[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Alaskan woman, attacked by moose, starts Facebook petition to boycott ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle’
An Alaskan woman who was out feeding her chickens recently was kicked in the head by a moose and has now begun circulating a petition on Facebook to boycott The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.
Mary-Joe Thatcher of Anchorage was caught by surprise when an adolescent moose began snacking on a bucket of chicken feed that she was carrying. When she turned to see what was tugging at the bucket the startled moose reared up and kicked her in the head.
Left dazed and confused, Mary-Joe stumbled back to her house where she Googled, “home remedies for a moose concussion.” A Youtube video of an old Rocky and Bullwinkle episode appeared causing Thatcher further stress and dismay.
“They are wild and dangerous creatures with no regard for human safety,” claimed Mary-Joe. “And to think somebody gave one a television show. It’s preposterous!”
Mary-Joe knew what had to be done and was not about to waste time with research or planning.
“I started a petition on Facebook to boycott that moose and sent it to everyone I know,” said Thatcher. “We’ll see who has the last laugh now.”
Despite the fact that The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show has been off the air since June of 1964, Mary-Joe still refuses to relent. She has even attempted to enlist the help of fellow advocates of the anti-moose culture.
“There were these two Russian people that appeared in the video I saw. They both seemed to understand that the moose must be stopped,” said Thatcher. “I know the Russians are a sensitive topic right now, with the hacking and election fraud, but these two seemed trust worthy.”
Mary-Joe’s husband, Carl, is not quite certain how to handle the situation.
“I tried telling her that it’s just a cartoon but she won’t listen,” said Carl. “Mary-Joe was never gonna win an award for her brains but I think that damn moose jarred a few extra screws loose.”
As of this week the petition to put an end to The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show has a total of eleven signatures with three being aliases used by Mary-Joe.
“They’re probably jut laying low until the heat lets up from all of this political nonsense,” said Mary-Joe. “Until then I’m just going to have to keep a smart eye out for that damn moose.”
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