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[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]

Angela Merkel Belts Out Her True Feelings

Mar 172017
 
 By , March 17, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Angela Merkel belted out her true feelings in the shower today.

Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, was recorded singing this variation of “Getting to Know You,” the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical The King and I, in the shower:

Angela Merkel

In the shower, Chancellor Merkel imagined herself as Gertrude Lawrence, playing Anna.

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to hate you
Knowing you hate me too.
Getting to know you
Putting it your way
Not nicely,
You are precisely
My enemy.

Getting to know you
Getting to feel so uneasy
When I am with you,
Getting to fear what you’ll say.
Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m very queasy,
Because of all the horrible and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.

In related news, speculation has been running rampant as to who bugged her shower.

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.

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