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Sean Spicer’s Job Resume Un-Redacted!

Apr 052017
 
 By , April 5, 2017

Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, D.C.
youcan’[email protected]

IMMEDIATE OBJECTIVE

Denny’s Host, Goat Herder or Monk!

LAST EMPLOYER

DonaldTrump.con

JOB TITLE

Excrement Handler!

WORK HISTORY

U.S. Navy.  Press Secretary.  Hide Nunes in the broom closet!

2 YEAR EXIT PLAN

Re-enlist or jump in the Potomac River!

EMOTIONAL STATUS

Pussy-whipped!

NICKNAMES

Artful Dodger.  Spinach-in-Teeth.  And, plain and simple!

BELIEFS

Santa Claus.  The Easter Bunny.  Vladimir Putin.

SPIRITUAL MANTRA

“Garbage in – Garbage out”.

OUTSIDE INTERESTS

Eating crow.  Masturbation.  Eating more crow!

EDUCATION

Used Car Salesman.  Trump U.  Clown College!

Sean Spicer clown college

LANGUAGES

Stutter.  Stammer.  And, sometimes Forked Tongue!

LICENSES

Fishing, Ass-kissing and Comedic 7-day-wait!

MEMBERSHIP AFFILIATIONS

Shriners.  Scientology-lite.  Red Hat Society Ladies!

3 REFERENCES

Wife.  Mother.  Mailman!

SKILLS

Thinking on feet.  Deleting Tweets.  Microsoft Word!

SPECIAL SKILLS

Evading.  Deflecting.  Bobbing & Weaving.

Oh, and works well with children!

***

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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