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Phony Facts: Alexander Graham Bell Missed His Calling

Jun 072017
 
 By , June 7, 2017

Alexander Graham Bell’s actual phone call

Alexander Graham Bell

The first words Alexander Graham Bell spoke on the telephone to his assistant in the next room was not “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you” — it was “Get me some covfefe.  Two creams!”

And, a shocker to me — in 1874 Italian/American inventor Antonio Meucci beat him to it, building the first phone but couldn’t afford the $10 Patent Fee.  So he went back home & said WTF — I’ll write a letter.

True story — but I don’t think he swore.

Then along came Bell who just happened to share a lab with Meucci & yada, yada, yada — somebody in the next workstation had his eyes on the other’s computer screen.

Elisha Gray

Elisha Gray.

But Bell had stiffer competition at the Patent Office beating out inventor Elisha Gray just by an hour.  Gray got there too late & his excuse was his digital clock was flashing 12:00 o’clock — 12:00 o’clock and to this day his descendants have been calling Customer Care about frigin’ Taxes & Fees!

What I find ironic is that later in life, Bell refused to have a telephone in his Study — because it was an intrusion.  ha ha — just like our smart phones are today — but they couldn’t turn theirs to fibrate!

Just a fuzzy moment.  In 1922 when Bell died in Canada at age 75 — every phone in North America was silenced during his funeral in his honor.  This is really true, but I couldn’t find anyone that old to verify it!

As for Meucci, he went to court but died before the verdict.  But I’m happy to report, in 2002 the U.S. Congress recognized him as the true inventor & I’m sure he appreciates it — wherever he is.  I guess calling him would be out of the question!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t much like living my whole life thinking Mr. Alexander Ragtime Bell was “the” one & then find out that it was someone else — another myth shot to hell!

With today’s Fake News, Trump Tweets & my satire — who knows what to believe anymore.

So I urge you to watch for my next essay where I grab a covfefe & dig deep for who really invented the wheel!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
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