The ‘measure of success,’ as it pertains to the current White House resident
I can’t help but wonder how supporters of President Trump measure his success. Barely a third of the way into his first year, he has accomplished things other presidents couldn’t even dream of. I mean that literally.
No other presidents would be capable of conjuring such dreams. Perhaps a midnight snack of liver and pineapple topped with a dollop of sour cream before going to bed would do the trick, but even then it’s unlikely. No, this president is unique among the 44 gentlemen that have preceded him. It was clear, even before he took the oath, that the Donald was destined to leave his mark on the underpants of history.
So, let’s take an inventory of the accomplishments of President Donald J. Trump. The actual governing part of this list is rather puny and small-handed, due to that separation of powers thing in the framework of our totally outdated Constitution. Imagine what this man could accomplish if we would just streamline those pesky checks and balances. Anyway, there’s plenty to hang your red ball cap on, even without counting what’s in the actual job description.
Number one on my list has to be the the artful maneuvering that has steered us away from our leadership status in the eyes of the rest of the world. This was no small task. German Prime Minister, Angela Merkel, has said Europe will now have to “… take our fate into our own hands.” This was in response to Trump saying nothing about U.S. defense of NATO countries during his orb fondling world tour. So in just over a hundred something days, he has undone what took close to a hundred years to build and taken us from leader of the free world to who invited this guy to Octoberfest.
I think the action that best typifies the Trump tour is his manhandling of the Prime Minister of Montenegro as he pushed him aside to get in front of a photo-op lineup. There he stood. The leader of our republic with his overcompensating tie and thin comb over. Preening in the front row on the world stage. If you wanted the rest of the world to get a sense of who you really are, you were supremely successful Mr. President.
Now lets talk about wall building; shall we? You know. The one Mexico is going to pay for. Let me quote: “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me –and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
This was a rallying point during Trumps scorched earth campaign. Mexicans are pouring across our border to steal our jobs, sell us drugs, rape our women, and mow our lawns. Be very afraid America. Of course the previous president deported more people than any other administration ever. And in recent years the number of people coming across has been less than those going back, but none of that matters. What matters is symbolism and this wall symbolizes a bulwark against an encroaching world.
The “Mexico will pay for it” part is a mainstay for the Trump faithful or Trumplodites. The way Mexico pays for it is by… um… having us pay for it. Of course, his Donaldness will deny this, but lets take a look at the “measure of success” in how this works. First congress allocates the gazillion dollars to build a wall and that comes from the taxpayers. Okay, that doesn’t look too good, but wait there’s more. After we pay for it, we then levy tariffs on incoming Mexican goods to reimburse the gazillion spent. The added cost is passed on to the consumer buying those Mexican goods and we end up paying for the wall a second time. See. Mexico pays for the wall by having American tax payers and consumers pay for it twice. Taa-Daa! Another success, right Mr. President? Sell the sizzle, not the Trump Steak.
And then there’s the oh so popular Muslim ban. This particular success is on its second go round. Unfortunately the first success was cut short by an overbearing Judiciary Branch doing it’s job. It seems keeping people out of the country because of their religious affiliations runs afoul of the Constitution.
The solution was a redraft of the “no Muslims allowed” executive order without specifically mentioning Muslims. That’s the ticket. We’re just talking about countries now. Countries where people wear turbans. Of course to assure success, the President indulges in tourettes twittering about how the first ban was better than this “watered down” second ban at keeping Muslims at bay. Good job Mr. President. The judicial response was inevitable.
There are many, many more successes. In fact they are too plentiful to mention in detail so I’ll just give a brief rundown. Being one of two countries to side with Syria on climate change. Endeavoring to kick 2.5 million people off healthcare and channel the savings into tax cuts for the wealthy. Insulting the Mayor of London after a terror attack. Leaving 42 of 53 vital executive positions unfilled because he hasn’t bothered to nominate anyone for those posts. Putting family members in positions of authority. Passing classified information to the Russians. Using his position to expand his personal wealth. Allowing companies to pour toxins into waterways again. And on, and on, and on.
So my question to all you Trumpophiles out there is, has the dizzying success of this president been enough for you? Are you “sick and tired of winning” yet? If not, what in the hell is it going to take?
Like the above content? Leave a comment below! Get notified of new content on HumorTimes.com: Subscribe via email!