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Humor Times blog - by James Israel

I publish a monthly paper called the Humor Times, available via subscription anywhere in the world. This blog allows me to comment in a more timely manner on current events, etc., since, after all, I have plenty to say!

Saturday, November 08, 2008

My letter from the president

I got a letter from the president -- you know, still-president George W. The letter thanked me for my "kind words." Didn't know what the heck he was talking about, of course. I figured it must've been some auto-response to some letter that got sent via some email thingy I signed. But it was snail-mailed to me. And it was in a big 9x11 envelope, with cardboard inside, and had an embossed presidential seal on it and everything! I figured it must be important.

So, it went on to say, "For nearly 8 years, it has been an honor and a joyous experience to be the President of the greatest county on earth." And I thought, yeah, for YOU maybe. Then, "I will sprint to the finish line in the months ahead with confidence in our purpose and trust in the power of the American spirit." I'm not making this up... The next line read, "As a Nation, we will continue to defend freedom's cause..." Oh really, and how are you going to do that, George? Because all you've done so far is trash our economy and world standing -- all for a lie. But go ahead, you were saying? "...build a more prosperous future..." OMG! I'm DYING here! "and make our society more peaceful..." SERIOUSLY? "and hopeful for every individual." Yeah, uh huh, riiiiiiite.

*Sigh*

Ok, King W's rein is almost over, I must keep reminding myself. But then, I think... another two and a half months? Anything could happen. He could yet trash the rest of this tattered, embattled, saddened, bankrupt and frightened America. That's just too much time! G.W., please, we beg of you -- don't do anything else! Just... STAND there. Ok? Really. I mean it. Right there. Don't move.

Obama is on his way. And he can't take the reins too soon.

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Friday, September 26, 2008

The News That Didn’t Make the News: Project Censored

Project Censored came out with their latest, and while they're all doosies, it was the story they ranked #5 that blew me away. The ones before it may well deserve their rankings, but they weren't surprises to me. (Although they would be to a majority of Americans, unfortunately -- thus the name, "Project Censored.") This one, thought, did surprise -- and sicken -- me.

# 5 Seizing War Protesters’ Assets (Excerpts:)
President Bush signed two executive orders that would allow the US Treasury Department to seize the property of any person perceived to, directly or indirectly, pose a threat to US operations in the Middle East.

The first of these executive orders, titled “Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq,” signed by Bush on July 17, 2007, authorizes the Secretary of Treasury, in consultation with the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense, to confiscate the assets of US citizens and organizations who “directly or indirectly” pose a risk to US operations in Iraq...

The act further authorizes freezing the assets of “a spouse or dependent child” of any person whose property is frozen. The executive order on Lebanon also bans providing food, shelter, medicine, or any humanitarian aid to those whose assets have been seized—including the “dependent children” referred to above.

Vaguely written and dangerously open to broad interpretation, this unconstitutional order allows for the arbitrary targeting of any American for dispossession of all belongings and demands ostracism from society...

In an editorial for the Washington Times, Fein states, “The person subject to an asset freeze is reduced to a leper. The secretary’s financial death sentences are imposed without notice or an opportunity to respond, the core of due process. They hit like a bolt of lightning. Any person whose assets are frozen immediately confronts a comprehensive quarantine. He may not receive and benefactors may not provide funds, goods, or services of any sort. A lawyer cannot provide legal services to challenge the secretary’s blocking order. A doctor cannot provide medical services in response to a cardiac arrest.”

G.W., and his enablers, seem to think he's king. He thinks he can pick any person opposing his war, and not only take everything that person and his family own, he can make it illegal for anyone to help him.

And I can't decide which is worse: the unconstitutional behavior of a leader gone mad, or the press that didn't think it was important enough to let us know about it!

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Monday, September 22, 2008

GOP got their wish -- Gov't drowned in a bathtub

Conservatives got their wish: over the years since the Reagan administration -- admittedly helped along by Clinton -- they managed to squeeze government down small enough to "drown in a bathtub," as conservative Grover Norquist put it. The financial regulatory function of the government has been moribund for some time now.

Well, staring us in the face is the awesome and terrible result.

And now we're supposed to take John McCain's word for it that, after 26 years of complete and utter allegiance to the philosophy of deregulation -- proudly proclaimed from his own lips many times -- he knows best how to create a just, sane, orderly, fair-to-the-taxpayer structure of regulation out of the pile of rubble and dust that he, his economic guru Phil "You Bunch of Whiners" Gramm, and his team of die-hard deregulation-loving lobbyists have left us? Uh-uh. I don't think so.

The whole conservative philosophy of "getting government out of the way, so that the private sector can do what it wants, because the market will correct and police itself," is today totally bankrupt. It was already proven to be a bankrupt philosophy back in 1929. Back then, it required Roosevelt's New Deal to repair the financial devastation left behind, and it will require an even Newer Deal now.

All along the way, we have seen examples showing us that lack of regulation is disastrous in a capitalist system, but we allowed these clowns to remain in control of the levers of power anyway. So, they continued to make it easy for greedy slimeballs to take advantage of the lack of oversight. And when their behavior caused a major problem? Government bailout to the rescue!

The same government they had been trying to drown in a bathtub the whole time. "Privatize the gains, but socialize the losses." That's their real, unspoken, philosophy. Meaning the government picks up the tab for their high-risk and unethical behavior.

But wait! Who is this benevolent parent that always has enough to save the day? Why it's us -- we're the government, remember -- and it's our pockets these greedy bastards are picking every time their get-rich-as-quick-as-possible schemes implode.

Sure, something has to be done. But does that mean we rush a bill through on the say so of the president, no matter what? (Isn't that the same thing Bush did with the war and then the Patriot Act?) Does it mean we give total control over to his administration to do what they will with obscene piles of cash that are supposed to materialize out of thin air, and without any oversight? That's what Treasury Secretary Paulson demands. Yes, he has the gall to actually DEMAND it!

If this whole scene weren't so outrageously obscene, it would be funny.

But think about it, this whole mess could be an opportunity. Just as the Chinese word weiji, translated as "crisis," is composed of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity," we could, if we were a people worth our salt, use this crisis as an opportunity to completely revamp the financial system. The time is ripe, and if ever the people were ready for effective change, it is now.

But fear and ignorance will likely prevail instead. Fear of change, and general civilian ignorance of the depth and breadth of the problem and its systemic nature. The entire banking system is corrupt to the core, because it is founded on the Federal Reserve system, which is actually unconstitutional, and antithetical to everything the founders stood for.

It is a private central bank, despite the word 'federal' so deviously included in its title, when it was drafted by a group of the world's most powerful bankers on an island of the coast of Georgia in 1913. Later passed when most lawmakers were out of town in the dead of night near the holidays that year, it obliterated Article I, section 8 of the constitution, which gives Congress the power "To coin money [and] regulate the value thereof." Instead, the Federal Reserve Act let the private bankers start printing the money and regulating its value.

That is an enormous power. It has made the banking families stinking rich, and has slowly put our nation into previously undreamt of amounts of debt.

That act needs to be repealed. Call me radical -- this crisis calls for a radical solution, or we become China's property, basically.

After we abolish the Fed, and the government (that's us) regains the power of the purse, we set up a sane financial regulatory system. Then we freeze the assets of those in the financial sector who made off like bandits, and sort out what is ill-gotten gains, and do our best to return that money to where it came from.

We immediately institute a tax on offshored businesses, and steadily increase the rate of that tax, to give a powerful incentive to keep our nation's business at home, and our own people employed.

Then, we forgive all debt. Wipe the slate clean. Everyone gets their houses back, and the economy is instantly back on an even footing. We can all flourish once again.

Socialism? A dose, perhaps, temporarily. As are the bailouts these financial titans want -- only their brand of socialism -- corporate socialism -- is only for them, not the general population.

Insane? Could be. But I'd argue that a continuation of the present system is what's insane. After all, insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results.

Sure, some will get hurt worse than others in this scheme. But no one will be in too bad of shape, as they will not be in debt. Some financial "wizards" of the present system may have to find new jobs, but hey -- they didn't mind telling that to all the people put out of work in their globalization schemes.

With the so-called "pillars" of our economy falling like dominoes, what have we got to lose?

We have national pride, and a sane, prosperous society, to gain.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Pure Insanity - Gov't halts solar plants for 'environmental' reasons

"Faced with a surge in the number of proposed solar power plants, the federal government has placed a moratorium on new solar projects on public land until it studies their environmental impact, which is expected to take about two years." -- Dan Frosch, The New York Times, today.

Uh huh, yeah, right. So NOW the government is suddenly concerned about the environment? Oh, those solar plants could destroy us! But, let's drill off the coasts, and of course, it's perfectly OK with the Bureau of Land Management to pillage their lands with all manner of gas and oil rigs. But not solar -- oh no!

Anybody else see the paranoid hand of the administration meddling here?

Sure, projects should be reviewed for environmental impact. But as Craig Cox, the executive director of the Interwest Energy Alliance (a renewable energy trade group) said, the freeze would "throw a monkey wrench" into the solar energy industry at precisely the wrong time. "I think it's good to have a plan," Mr. Cox said, "but I don't think we need to stop development in its tracks."

Oh, but the Bush administration is already working on 'alternative' energy'! It's their 'drill the coasts' alternative! After all, their oil buddies can't make a dime on these solar plants.

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Friday, February 15, 2008

We now have TWO ways to make sure George Bush is held accountable

It's obvious that Congress is way too busy to deal with a president who tries to rewrite their laws when he signs them, ignores the Constitution, starts illegal wars, trashes the environment and plummets the country into recession. Impeachment remains "off the table."

We've known for a long time it would take something more insidious -- a stained dress -- to get Congress' attention. But now there is hope for another way: if G.W. used steroids, THEN Congress might act! Anyone have any leads?

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

As California burns, where is our National Guard? Oh, yeah...

We knew it would come back to bite us, and now it has, hard. We need our California National Guard HERE, where they are supposed to be, to help, well guard our state, and fight these terrible fires.

Now the prez is going to do a flyover and spout some sympathetic words. Spare me. Send us back our Guard! There should be about 20,000 National Guardsmen in California, but too many are currently in Iraq, fighting in the midst of a civil war, in an unwinnable situation, just so Bush can leave office without admitting defeat. Go away, chickenhawk-warmonger-for-profit-in-chief, we don't need your fake sympathy. Declare these charred counties a disaster area, and then SEND OUR NATIONAL GUARD HOME!

The Progressive Democrats of America have put out a call for people to insist Governor Schwarzenegger demand that our Guard be brought back home. Call him today, at 916-445-2841, or send an email. If you call, pick option 5 or 7, not '3' – which is for info on Maria Shriver – an all-important item, we know, but one which can take a back seat for now!

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