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Humor Times blog - by James Israel

I publish a monthly paper called the Humor Times, available via subscription anywhere in the world. This blog allows me to comment in a more timely manner on current events, etc., since, after all, I have plenty to say!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Opposed to Socialized Medicine? Now's your chance to pledge to deny yourself Medicare for life!

Finally! All who are opposed to "socialized" health care can now sign a petition created to let you pledge to refuse to use the Medicare you already have, or to promise to never sign up for it. That's right, Medicare is a government run insurance program, much like that evil public option!

If you choose not to sign it, I'm sorry, but you're a hypocrite!

Next up: We hope to create "Thanks but no thanks" yard signs you can put up in your yard, telling those socialistic police and fire departments that you're against all socialist institutions like theirs! After all, our taxes pay for their services! And we all know the government can't do ANYTHING right! So, buy one of these signs (yes, they're for sale -- what'd you think? This is capitalism), and tell those commies where to go! Next time your house is on fire, you can hire help to put it out -- that's the American way!

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Demonstrations at offices of major banks Thursday nationwide!

Tomorrow, Thursday, March 19, 2009, Americans in cities nationwide will hold demonstrations at the offices of major banks and other corporations to demand more responsible corporate behavior and call on Congress to enact the change that will make it happen. Employee free choice and health care reform will also be issues that are emphasized. Click here for info on some cities where demonstrations are planned.

A populist sentiment is rising once again in America, and that's a good thing. For various reasons, we've been far too complacent for far too long. Now's the time to take advantage of the popular anger over the economic shenanigans of corporate thieves on Wall Street and all over the world -- we need real, systemic changes, NOW -- and this is the best opportunity in years to make it happen.

Let's get out on the street for some good ol' fashioned protests. Get your poster boards, magic markers and paint out, meet your neighbors and raise some hell!

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Friday, September 19, 2008

The day I ran into Karl Rove and Robert Kennedy, Jr. (separately)

OK, I didn't actually meet them both. Or either one of them. But I did get to within 20-30 feet of them. And no, they weren't together. I don't think they're best buds. Well, here's how it happened...

Through the local email grapevine, I learned that the infamous Karl Rove, aka "Bush's Brain" aka "Fear-mongering, truth-twisting, congressional subpoena-avoiding, sewer-residing dirty-trickster," would be speaking at the Sacramento Convention Center in downtown Sacramento for the Sacramento Metro Chamber's annual public affairs forum, "Perspectives." As it turned out, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Deepak Chopra and even funny man Frank Caliendo were invited, although I didn't know that when I headed down there.

An informal gathering of like-minded people representing various groups showed up to demonstrate for the arrest of ol' Turd Blossom, as the prez is said to call him, for his unlawful refusal to obey a congressional subpoena and show up to testify. Why he, or anyone, is allowed to get away with this, I don't know. He's clearly flaunting the law, but as a former member of the Bush administration, I guess he's above the law. Don't you know? They all are, especially the Law-Breaker-in-Chief, George W. himself.

Anyway, this small band of citizens – who happen to still believe this is a nation of laws – showed up with signs and Rove masks and stood on the corner, supported by honking citizens driving by on their way to and from lunch breaks, etc. (I think we would have had a bigger group, except that it was on a Friday morning, lasting until one o'clock.) At one point, I donned a Karl Rove mask and a Code Pink woman in a cop's costume (with a pink shirt, of course), handcuffed me as cameras flashed in a bit of street theater. Our message was serious, but hey, you've got to have a little fun while you're at it.

Later, as we were getting ready to pack up the signs and leave, Mr. Kennedy came jogging up the sidewalk flanked by a couple cops and ran into the building. Why he didn't go in the back through the VIP entrance, I don't know. It happened so fast, no one had time to say anything to him, and I missed by big chance to give him a copy of the Humor Times. But it was cool to see him that close and in person, as he is one of my heroes, a tireless worker for environmental issues and a fine writer.

After we said our goodbyes, I hopped on my bike and started heading home. I only got halfway down the front of the convention center building when all the traffic was suddenly stopped by the police. I rode up to the front of the traffic, and was told to stop there. A silver sedan of some kind was sitting there in a little-used driveway coming from around the center, waiting for some VIP or another. I figured it couldn't be anyone too big, since it wasn't a big black limousine. But then, Karl Rove himself came waltzing up, was escorted into the car, and they drove away.

He was within about 30 feet, too far to spit. Besides, all those cops... you know, probably would not have turned out well for me. I only saw him for a second, and he was in the car, so I didn't even have time to yell anything. But I was struck by how small and human he looked. The guy is larger than life in the American psyche, but he's just a small balding man. Just another American citizen. Who should be locked up, stripped of his citizenship, and sent to Guantanamo. Ok, I don't really believe that, because I believe we really ought to stick with the good ol' Constitution. However, if they ARE going to indefinitely detain people, then those who help start illegal, immoral and devastating wars, strip us of our Constitutional rights, spy on us, drive our world standing and our economy into the ground and try to elevate an egotistical blockhead into a king are good candidates.

At the very least, lock him up for Contempt of Congress!

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Arresting Protesters Before They Protest - in the USA!

"Are we still living in The United States of America? Is it still the land of the free? I'm a bit confused. Since when do we raid homes of possible protesters, before they even have a chance to protest?" -- Care2.com

Check out these videos of folks getting interviewed after police raids in Minneapolis. On the weekend before the Republican National Convention, law enforcement agencies detained dozens of people and issued a series of search warrants aimed at groups believed to be organizing demonstrations while delegates and Republican officials are in town. Some were charged with "conspiracy to commit riot" -- basically thought crimes. And the reason for the raids were very far off the mark -- these are young people, living in neighborhoods where everyone knows them (neighbors are interviewed as well), and thinks they are great kids. They were simply planning to demonstrate, a right of free people, enshrined in our Constitution.

Denver was bad enough, with the Orwellian "free speech" zones we've all come to know and hate, but in Minneapolis, it's getting to be gestapo-type tactics. What is this country coming to? We can't abide this. It's just not right.

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