A Schlong List of Swearing Presidents

Presidents who swore: All of them?

I got ’em all — from I-got-wood-Washington to I-got-smarts-Trump — they all swore!

And, I can prove that all presidents have cussed — well, at least the ones I could come up with!

My guess is, back in the 1700-1800’s, presidents’ curse words were just as shocking and offensive as our the current resident’s, but it just wasn’t reported on.

Sure, they seem tame to us now; but we can just imagine how utterly taboo they were — so cover your kid’s eyes:

Hell’s Bells, Holy Cow, Son of a Gun, Geez Louise, Gadzooks, Cripes, Fudge & my go-to, Heck!

It has been noted that because War was hell — after WWII, curse words began to emphasize sexual parts & bodily functions & it wasn’t just Aunt Betty in the Navy! 

But, since we’ve heard them all and know all politicians except VP Pence have used them — I won’t have to go there…

GEORGE WASHINGTON

“One freakin’ Lie & that’s what people remember?

Presidents

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

“Honey, how ’bout these bitchin’ Box Seats”! Too Soon?

Presidents

TEDDY ROOSEVELT

“Bull Hickey”!  Okay, Hockey — but I woke up with somethin’ on my neck”!

Presidents

HERBERT HOOVER

“Lift your darn feet — I’m vacuuming”!

FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT

“Eleanor baby, get your buns over here — what’s this crap about cousins”!

HARRY S. TRUMAN

“Sure, the Buck stopped here — but now I hear some TV Shtick-hole sent it back”!

DWIGHT “Ike” EISENHOWER

“No, we Soldiers don’t swear like Sailors — we’re too busy opening our ‘Bag of dicks’! Sorry Mamie — locker room talk

LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Jesus H. Christ —  Vietnam is killin’ me — where’s Truman’s Button”?

RICHARD NIXON

“God damn Woodward & Bernstein”!

GERALD FORD

Mary, Mother of Jesus — who waxed the last step”?

JIMMY CARTER

“Jeepers, just my luck — I lusted after women in my heart & then “Playboy” folds”!

RONALD REAGAN

“Dagamit Mommy — give it a rest, I said ‘Ditto’ — I love you too”!

GEORGE H.W. BUSH

“Hell, I go to bed with Mrs. Bush & wake up with Martha Washington”!

BILL CLINTON

“Who friggin’ won”?  Now, I have to…you know — talk to her”!

GEORGE W. BUSH

“Shoot — I love to use the C-word, but you know the wifey… now I can only draw it”!

And, of course, THOMAS E. DEWEY — the very 1st President to say WTF!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.
Marilyn Sands

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