Idaho State Senator Furious Over Virtual Lap Dance Ban
“There goes Idaho’s chances of ever hosting a CPAC convention!” said the senator, regarding the virtual lap dance ban in his state. BOISE, Idaho — Sen. Sam Getzless … Read more
fake news
AP: Dramatic Rise in Domestic Wine Sales Linked to Newly Diagnosed “Suburban Housefrau Syndrome”
Viral outbreak of “Suburban Housefrau Syndrome” (SHS) rampant. By Julie Mains A dramatic spike in wine sales in the suburbs of thriving major metropolitan cities around the United … Read more
Appalachian Man Doesn’t Need Neck Tattoo
Mowing: Good. Neck Tattoo: Bad. Shane Fannin doesn’t need a neck tattoo to stand out. In fact, he says his unique personality suits him just fine. “I like … Read more
Giant Sinkhole Draining Gulf of Mexico
Scientist: “At least this sinkhole might finally allow us to clean up all of BP’s spilled oil.” NAPLES, FL — Despite warnings of rising coastal waters around the … Read more
U.S. Military, Creator of the Internet, Takes It Back
So long, internet, it’s been nice to know ya! The U.S. Military, the true originator of the Internet, has had enough of the big game of shenanigans that … Read more
Well-Fed Cat Is Always Hungry
This cat is always hungry – sound familiar? The Elliot family has had their cat Paul for a few years. The family has always taken care of Paul … Read more
Cleveland Browns Suggest “Personal Best Bowl” Once in a While
Personal Best Bowl could be good for morale In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam discussed his recent meeting with NFL commissioner Roger … Read more
Fool’s Gold Medals Saving Olympics a Lot of Money
Olympics Save Money by Giving Out Fool’s Gold Medals. In an attempt to curtail expenses the Olympic Committee has taken the measure of exchanging 1st place gold medals … Read more
Strange Hieroglyphics Found on Russian Meteorite
Could meteorite contain cosmic message? Chelyabinsk, Russia — Scientists have located a large chunk of the Chelyabinsk meteorite that came crashing down in Siberia on February 15 last … Read more
FOX Television Found to Be Infested with Subversives
How could such a conservative station be riddled with subversive types? The conservative news station FOX News has been found to be riddled with subversives, anarchic souls whose … Read more
