Steroid Use Gets Satirist Banned from Covering 2012 Olympics
Johnny B. Rotten, a writer who makes his living making fun of the people who make the world an interesting place to live, has officially been banned from … Read more
humor
First Suicide Bomber Union Formed In Iraq
Initial union meeting described as a ‘real blast’ Union-minded Iraqis today formed the Suicide Bombers Local #467 in Baghdad, but promptly had to look for a new union … Read more
Mark Zuckerberg Begs Businesses to Quit Giving Him Free Stuff
‘Enough already with the gifts,’ says Facebook’s Zuckerberg, ‘and don’t Poke me either’ Ever since Mark Zuckerberg joined the ranks of the uber rich, he’s been receiving free … Read more
The Masked Penis Thief
Fey Lin lives in China’s Zhejiang province. One night, according to his police report, four masked men burst into the room where he lay sleeping, pulled down his pants, and stole his penis.
“They put something ov…
Argus Has Fun with the News: Charlie Sheen & More
The News, as interpreted by Argus Hamilton: Charlie Sheen announced Tuesday that he is interested in being a judge on American Idol. He knows plenty about the music … Read more
Bert and Ernie: The Prenup
By Roz Warren and Janet Golden Now that President Obama has endorsed gay marriage, it will soon become legal everywhere in America, including, of course, Sesame Street, which … Read more
Lost Journal: ‘Ski Club’ is an Appropriately Violent Phrase
Journal entry: December 14, 1981 (age 12) The staff of the Greek Peak ski resort cringes when they see our Ski Club bus approaching. My middle school, St. … Read more
The Bain of His Electoral Existence
You might say it was a turbulent week for Mitt Romney. You could also say a light lemon sugar wash makes for ineffective mosquito repellent. He claims to … Read more
Coming Soon: A Shortage of Olympic Athletes?
Just as the Summer Olympics are poised to begin in London, we receive disturbing news about the health of American youth. A new Centers For Disease Control report … Read more
