Crossing the Jordan

Like Jim Jordan of Texas, I too want my rights back.

In particular, I wish to petition the government for a redress of grievances against Congressman Jordan for emitting toxic gases on the floor of the House of Representatives, thereby endangering the lives of everyone present, including Dr. Anthony Fauci.

In addition, Rep. Jordan has caused serious brain damage to at least 47% of the American electorate, although the prognosis for those 74 million people is guarded, hence their prior mental condition may be both incurable and uninsurable.

Unfortunately, Rep. Waters’ response (“shut your mouth”) was at least six minutes too late to prevent logorrhea from flooding the House chamber. Therefore, I hold her responsible for violating EPA regulations on filth — wasting taxpayer’s time and money on such a poor imitation of Sen. Bilbo and the tradition of redneck oratory, while thousands of apprentice demagogues are dying to storm the Capitol, and burn down the Reichstag while they’re at it.

I hold such uncouthness to be pure re-sentiment. The sooner we flush it, the better our chances to avoid verbal catastrophe, and thus safeguard what little political sanity we have left.

John Thomas
Latest posts by John Thomas (see all)

Signed: Dennis Rohatyn