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Apollo 11, Dionysius 404 BCE

Today (July 20, 2021), on the 52nd anniversary of the first walk on the lunar surface by Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong, it is only fitting to recall that historic event by reciting his famous words, albeit in a fashion that encapsules America’s new age, which has gotten old well before its time: “that’s one more faux pas for The Man, one giant bleep for millions of unkind men.”

Signed: Dennis Rohatyn


Election Reroute

I can hardly wait for the live streaming of the recount of the 2020 Arizona election retreads on Offal Air Network.

It’s taken so long, even the Cyber Ninja Turtles are dying of boredom. However, I’m willing to bet my Barbie Doll House (where I keep my private collection of intelligent designer toys from ages ago) that the auditors manage to find 11,780 votes for Donald Trump that were lost in the Maricopa County shuffle, which would more than suffice to give Trump the victory, since Joe Biden won the Grand Canyon state by a slender margin of 10,457.

Unfortunately, all but one of those votes were added on in Georgia, while Brad Raffensperger was tied to a chair, gagged and handcuffed, and locked in a bunker with Marjorie Taylor Greene, then flown west to serve as proxy votes until such time as Stacey Abrams agrees to take Raffensperger’s place and sacrifice herself as a martyr to the cause of collective insanity. (Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms cast the other vote, to save Abrams from ever having to drive through Dalton, even at high speed).

Whether those 11,780 votes count in either jurisdiction, let alone in both, is, as the Supreme Court has ruled (cf. Sleaze vs. Sludge, 1776 U.S. Rt. 66), “highly problematic.” But in the worst case — which we are rapidly nearing, as if the edge of the abyss were only a few yards from the approach to the South Rim — at least we know where to dump all those votes. Provided it doesn’t violate an EPA regulation against political pollution or desecrate what was once sacred land — that is, until Coronado gave the New World Disorder a head start on the 1619 Project, 80 years before colonialism became offal, er, official.

Meanwhile, if Trump wants those 11 electoral votes, I’m all for rigging something up, simply to satisfy him. Give him a fairway chance to finish first by making a hole-in-one at Kaibab Country Club, where the water hazard is 3,600 feet below the tee, and the pins are neatly spaced along the needles of stately Saguaros. Even if he doesn’t win the race, he’ll be in his cups — unlike the rest of us losers, who are still teed off at the world, yet stuck in the sand.

Signed: Dennis Rohatyn


Jim Jordan’s Peeps

January 06th MAGA rioters are finally having their day in court.

BIG Media peddles a PATHETIC back story – Mr. Joe Blow- (average hard-working American)- just sort of lost his MAGA mind … boarded a charter bus in Midland Texas (or wherever) to DC with body armor, zip tie hand cuffs and bear mace.

Sounds PREMEDITATED- if you want to hang Vice President Pence…that is.

So… who exactly- chartered that bus Mister?

Bottom line is- this was a premeditated attack- they wanted Senators and Congresspeople to HANG- that defines lynch mob.

Trump said he was going to march on the Capital …with you-

Coward- never lead his own charge.

That day, Citizens died for his FAKE CAUSES. Trump claims Ashli Babbitt is a MARTYR- is that RIGHTstag?

Did Trump attend her funeral? Send flowers? Care less?

Eagle Eyes on MISSION FAILURE Stewart Rhodes- (visionary Leader of the Oath keepers)-
WHILE TEACHING GUN SAFETY – PIRATE PATCHES BLASTED HIS LEFT EYE OUT-
(oops…ma bad)!

Musta Seed me a commie!

Gandhi said- “an eye for an eye means the whole world goes blind”- Rhode’s is halfway UNENLIGHTENED.

Pence was in full retreat while the Pentagon stood… trousers down.

A Confederate battle flag FLEW in the Rotunda, police were MURDERED, meanwhile… Trump chilled from an igloo- eating Cheat-oos, vomiting on Kevin McCarthy, via phone.

What happens when you give a Psycho Mob Boss just a little more rope? With TREASON so close to its stated DEADLY objective.

HUNG JURY

-Case dismissed-

(Just- us- served).

Signed: Glenn Jones


FCC fun house

In order to be “really funny”- I filed a complaint online with the FCC against FOX NEWS!

It was easy, and who knows- enough complaints… and maybe Fox and fiends will stop killing our fellow citizens with Covid DISINFORMATION.

Hard to believe that is their PUNCH LINE- killing people- hey look-GRAMA IS ON A VENTILATOR-ha ha ha.

ONLY IN AMERICA can a 24-hour news network KILL THEIR AUDIENCE, your friends, our family, the people down the street-hey look ANOTHER COFFIN
-he choked, get it?
Cough in?
nevamind-

ISN’T THAT A SCREAM? I love when the jokes on me…don’t YOU?

Another funeral for some old people, you know what would be really funny?

OK… hold on to your funny bone- lets load a COVID corpse and shoot it through the window of Fox Broadcasting while Tucker is talking LIVE on air!!!!!

some DEAD person goes flying through the TV studio… wearing a MAGA t shirt or something???????

I really haven’t worked out all the details, and maybe its really not that funny, but- HEY…at least I’m sorry for sayin right?

That’s more than you can say about that undertaker named Rupert Murdoch-

that’s the WISEguy who owns that Fking Fox fun house-

HEAD CLOWN-

of that diseased brain outfit, with money pouring out of his custom-tailored pockets.

Signed: Glenn Jones


allen WEISSELBERG

Liberal media paints a picture of bad CFO behavior, when really… Allen is just another mislead accountant who misplaced a few thousand dozen decimal points-

(As if Billary never made mistakes).

A first-time offender, no criminal record, his gleaming limo’s (AC) may have caused “remorseless brain freeze”- or worse!

50 years of SAUSAGE PACKING for Trumps meatings would grind anyone into cold- spineless- MAGAovers..

Ankle bracelet him, scratch 73 times on the chalk board- “I will not embezzle, cheat or falsify documents. (til probation ends)

Isn’t it enough to be publicly shamed? (a GUCCI crown of thorns!) Doesn’t Jesus wear a Rolex?

CASE DISMISSED.

Allen’s intentions are purer than the driven grimy slush funds piled at Trump Towers-
bookmarked by two sets of BUTTS- (one skid marked -another wiped clean).

Accounting 101…

2 are MO betta then 1,…

“Behold…another FAKE POOP your Honor! – OFFICIAL TURD counter for HIS MAGESTIES outhouse- He who used a Bible for toilet paper.

Thank Gawd- Donald Trump Jr. can wipe Allen’s left-over clod hoppers – (One ply fits all).

No more misteaks!

Barefoot Allen might enroll in a remedial Federal accounting program- (called PRISON).

“Junior Achievement” takes his plunge…Afterall Junior taught advanced clogging and Lego blocks at Trump Univershitty.

Junior could rebury an entire graveyard of (still screaming) debts in soiled spread sheets- with his third eye blind.

Like African safaris gone by…Junior machine guns endangered animals out the window of his Land rover at the Bronx Zoo.

“Shooting and Looting” – Trump multi-tasking birthrights.

Signed: Glenn Jones


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