Letters to the Editor

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golfing with Elise Stephanik

Elise Stephanik

Young GOP upstart from New York’s 21st District, graduated from Harvard, Elise now fully understands – she never had to be any smarter than Marjorie Taylor Green to climb to the top of “this” Republican dung heap.

Rubbing elbows with Devin Nunes and Mitch McConnell didn’t take brains, just a willingness to stab people in the back.

All that time at Harvard- enduring frat party crap- what a waste of time.

My parents own a Lumber company, after high school they could have dropped me off at Congress … If I kicked the chair out from under Liz Cheney- victory would have been MINE… years ago.

Fake the polite, bid my time, then- WHAMMO. Bury a battle axe and smile for the camera.
Send flowers, La-t-Da- and off we go- to Mar-A-Lago!

All I do is- kneel before Emperor Donald- tell him he is Hollywood handsome-STILL President- (pro level golfer) … the world is flat- Easy sleasy.

As a MAGA bonus I’m including- renouncing Truth, Justice, the American Way, Christian faith and some corny Oath to a Constitutional thingy.


GOP Wieners like me- use Trump’s GOLFING playbook, LIE, CHEAT (and) STEAL, then suddenly everyone wants to wash your balls!

One less thing to worry about- I don’t even play golf!

You say Tomato and I say-it wasn’t an insurrection, you say PO-ta-To- I say put those losers on hold, I’m… sharpen my nails, practicing my swing, ready for the next clubbing.

Signed: Glenn Jones

right to remain silent

Hello Joel, guess a little seagull told you… turning State’s evidence on Matt- isn’t a good compass heading.

No need to drag our GOP “rising star” into other people’s anchor lines… right Mr. Greenberg?

Think of your crew, your family – lets all-do what’s RIGHT for America!

Hungry communists Liberals circling your Ship? Hey Buddy- we took the liberty of changing your boats name from “Little Miss Jailbait” to IRON PATRIOT… see how friends help out… when you’re in the weeds!

Your ends justify our means.

Money can’t pull you all the way to shore with 33 Federal harpoons in your whale hide, but perhaps it’s the difference between doin time… and reel HARD TIME.

Matty G can’t say it out loud, but you, Roger Stone and He- still BFF right? Look at Roger- PARDONED-BAM!

Paul Manafort- stayed corked like a bottle of cheap champagne- no fizz, -no fuzz.

Silence be golden. No threat INTENDED.

When Trump is back in his wheelhouse, you will be high and dry sailor- HOOKED UP! not roped in.

Look what happened to that Epstein guy- maximum federal incarceration- but Jeffery only “hung round” a little while.
“Makes my neck hurt just thinking about it.

Ships in a bottle need a good cork.

Don’t let your ship hit the fan Joee!

“No worries about your Family either Joel-Fiends got you back so… hold fast”.

Glad we could have this little talk!

Signed: Glenn Jones

The trouble with tribbles

Star Trek- Arizona ballot recall- the final flunk-tier.

GOP dilithium crystals on empty, Scotty. Warped 10 speed to the Maricopa Galaxy to find the biggest hole in our known universe.

Searching with high beams, dim wits and UV scanners- tractor beams can’t turn legitimate elections around Captain! Let’s just lie cheat and steal!

Klingon Emperor (guest star) – Donald Trumpzilla will mind-meld with a golf crystal ball- (butt sees)- no future without asteroids, hemorrhoids and lawsuits he can’t- avoids.

Like Qanon believers- Trumpzilla uses the anti-logic of a sociopathic mind, lives in a nebulous tax write Holodeck, and believes his misfortune is our wheel deal.

A privately perpetrated Arizona ballot recall defies space, time, local election officials, and even humanoids.

Literally Lost in Space- Tribbles believe this apprentice casino loser- is an actual politician.

Some avid Trek watchers “tried to” master the nuance of speaking Vulcan, hoping to unlock the mysteries of “strife” itself.

If it wasn’t for being a made-up script, on a Hollywood set with cheesy special effects… it actually- could happen right? Like Trumps BIG LIE- all true- for inhabitance of the brain-dead outer limits-YES.

Trump reruns- equivalent to a Romulan icepick lobotomy.

Plutocracy is what Fascist Arizona Republican Tribbles are hoping to find.

I said… “hold on Space Cowboys, yall could save a lot of taxpayer dollars just by searching Uranus”.

“Idiotic, mean spirited, rubbish- gushing up from Mar-O-Lago craters on Uranus… would yield exact same results you have now- less paperwork, fewer flushes”.

Signed: Glenn Jones

At least we came in 16th!

“Right to life” issues apparently only extend to the unborn- not immigrant children or Black kids.

Men, politicians and Trumped-up religious leadership have perfected a “male centric weapon” known as never birthing anything besides meddling.

Women have been told what and how to do since the dark ages- (meaning yesterday).
Yesterday in North Carolina a 14-year-old GIRL can be legally married- (State sanctioned rape and child abuse).

Republicans never right those wrongs- women with the highest levels of life satisfaction live in places where their reproductive rights are fully protected- America ranks 16th from the top.

Bumper sticker For Christian women protest marching around abortion clinics -“DON’T WANT ABORTION? Don’t have one!… That’s right-mind your own business.

Pregnant teens, victims of incest, Mothers who can’t afford another child, trust people to make responsible life decisions- for themselves.

When did your private medical procedure become anyone else’s business? Republicans want to hit women in the face with the same a chastity belt used by the Chinese Communists.

Your Family- Their hypocrisy.

Don’t inflict your bible, Koran, Communist Doctrines, flat earth, God’s wrath or any other rubbish on the whole neighborhood.

If your Church, mosque, house of worship, faith and belief system was so great- then…hold back the crowds! … no lines forming to the right of what’s wrong.

Communist Chinese force sterilization on Muslim women of western provinces, 14-year-old girls are child (abused) brides in Carolina…what’s the big difference?

Signed: Glenn Jones

It Takes One to Owe One

You have to admire Donald Trump’s sheer chutzpah.

Leave it to the Big Liar himself to “christen” the Big Lie. If I were Adolf Hitler, I would sue The Donald for lunatic infringement.

Not only did Trump steal props right out of Der Führer’s playbook (Mein Kampf, Ch. VI), but Der Furor went him one dead letter, by trolling the BL with his own brand of BS. Pinocchio would be proud, yet I find the whole show rather wooden—and a warning to anyone who isn’t already aware of the borrowed script.

As Mark Twain observed, history does not repeat itself, but it certainly rhymes. Trump is no poet — but he has taken far too many liberties with liberty to merit twined laurels.

The Big Liar must be brought to justice: prosaic yet permanent. The fire must be extinguished, lest the firing next time be doused in a Biblical baptism of blood.

Signed: Dennis Rohatyn

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