Exclusive: Original ‘Salute to America’ Speech Uncovered

Exclusive: Original ‘Salute to America’ Speech Uncovered

In this Humor Times exclusive, we present the initial draft of Trump’s “Salute to America” speech. In President Trump’s July 4th “Salute to America” speech, he said that the Continental army, which was created in … Read moreExclusive: Original ‘Salute to America’ Speech Uncovered

Trump Offers Own Take on American History in New Book

Trump Offers Own Take on American History in New Book

Promises new textbook on American history will be “Greatest Ever” This reporter has secured an outline of some of the points that President Trump is going to cover in the textbook of American history he … Read moreTrump Offers Own Take on American History in New Book

Trump Ends All Abortion Restrictions, Cites National Emergency

Trump Ends All Abortion Restrictions, Cites National Emergency

Trump tweets an immediate end to abortion restrictions, sparking a furious backlash from right-to-life groups. In a surprise tweet released at 4 am this morning, President Trump announced an immediate end to all abortion restrictions, … Read moreTrump Ends All Abortion Restrictions, Cites National Emergency

Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Stunned podiatrists declare president’s feet to be entirely bone-spur free after ‘Toe Jam’ religious invocation.  WASHINGTON DC – President’s Trump’s heels have been declared to be “entirely bone-spur free” by a panel of podiatrists, following … Read moreTrump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Hundreds of ICE Workers Desert Their Posts and Flee to Canada

Hundreds of ICE Workers Desert Their Posts and Flee to Canada

In response to job stress and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE workers are streaming in caravans to Canada seeking asylum. In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of … Read moreHundreds of ICE Workers Desert Their Posts and Flee to Canada

Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust

Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust

Which will spontaneously combust first, the world, the country or the president, is not yet known — but scientists urge caution in any case. Doctors across the country are warning everyone close to President Trump … Read moreScientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust

Chicken or the Egg: Two Chickens Sunny Side Up

Chicken or the Egg: Two Chickens Sunny Side Up

Liberty University renames the egg in response to “chicken or the egg” controversy. LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, LYNCHBURG, VA — Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University has made a decision respecting their fundamental belief that life begins at conception. … Read moreChicken or the Egg: Two Chickens Sunny Side Up

Sean Hannity and Stephen Miller Feuding

Sean Hannity and Stephen Miller Feuding

Inside the Sean Hannity-Stephen Miller feud: A rivalry over spirit channeling. It appears that there has been a growing rivalry between Sean Hannity and Stephen Miller. Oddly enough, the rivalry has nothing to do with … Read moreSean Hannity and Stephen Miller Feuding

‘New Hope for Every Ova’: Alabama Doubles Down on New Abortion Law

‘New Hope for Every Ova’: Alabama Doubles Down on New Abortion Law

Alabama decides new abortion law doesn’t go far enough. The Governor of Alabama and the Alabama legislature have decided that their new anti-abortion law does not go far enough. Standing on the capitol steps today … Read more‘New Hope for Every Ova’: Alabama Doubles Down on New Abortion Law