Trump Threatens to Hold Breath ‘Until Mueller Goes Away’

Trump Threatens to Hold Breath ‘Until Mueller Goes Away’

“I’ll hold my breath until Mueller goes away — I will, even if I turn blue and die myself dead!” the President screamed. “And then you’ll all be sorry!” MAR-A-LAGO, FL — President Trump is … Read moreTrump Threatens to Hold Breath ‘Until Mueller Goes Away’

Trump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

Trump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

“There’s plenty of  snow in Finland,” Trump explained,  “but they don’t have anything like that Alaska earthquake because they rake it all up and deposit it in snow banks.”  MAR-A-LAGO FL — President Trump said … Read moreTrump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

Special Training Ordered for Troops Set to Face ‘Fearsome Horde’ of Mothers and Children

Special Training Ordered for Troops Set to Face ‘Fearsome Horde’ of Mothers and Children

Troops facing onslaught of mothers and children get special training, including use of new tools like custom “kiddie stun guns.” An anonymous source in the Pentagon has revealed that President Trump has ordered special training … Read moreSpecial Training Ordered for Troops Set to Face ‘Fearsome Horde’ of Mothers and Children

FBI Investigation: Kavanaugh Failed to Reach Own Goals, Drank Just 97 Kegs of Beer

FBI Investigation: Kavanaugh Failed to Reach Own Goals, Drank Just 97 Kegs of Beer

Explosive new revelation: total kegs of beer don’t add up. Explosive new revelations emerged today about Judge Brett Kavanaugh, whose nomination to the Supreme Court was confirmed by the Senate on Saturday following a renewed … Read moreFBI Investigation: Kavanaugh Failed to Reach Own Goals, Drank Just 97 Kegs of Beer

Trump and Kavanaugh Team Up in Joint Oval Office Rant

Trump and Kavanaugh Team Up in Joint Oval Office Rant

Trump learns new literary references in Oval Office rant with SCOTUS nominee. White House staffers have nicknamed the Oval Office “The Steam Room.” Why? This is where, behind closed doors, the President “blows of steam,” … Read moreTrump and Kavanaugh Team Up in Joint Oval Office Rant

Theresa May’s Biggest Brexit Gaffe: “I’ve United the Country Like Nobody Else in History Has Ever Done!”

Theresa May’s Biggest Brexit Gaffe: “I’ve United the Country Like Nobody Else in History Has Ever Done!”

Brits weigh in on Theresa May and her biggest Brexit gaffe. Arrogant Tory centrist Theresa May has hit yet another new low in the Brexit negotiations. Her biggest blunder yet seems to demonstrate she has … Read moreTheresa May’s Biggest Brexit Gaffe: “I’ve United the Country Like Nobody Else in History Has Ever Done!”

Cash Strapped NRA Unveils Investment Projects for the Future

Cash Strapped NRA Unveils Investment Projects for the Future

New projects for cash strapped NRA in keeping with violent tradition. The cash strapped NRA, reeling after the public notice of their budget troubles, have decided to expand their financial base of interests to survive. … Read moreCash Strapped NRA Unveils Investment Projects for the Future

Hookers and Porn Models in Uproar after ‘Mario Kart’ Trump Dick Revelation

Hookers and Porn Models in Uproar after ‘Mario Kart’ Trump Dick Revelation

Stormy Daniels revealed that Trump’s tiny dick has a mushroom head like Mario Kart. Sorry, now you can’t un-see that! SAD! “The least impressive sex I’ve ever had!” Daniels says, contradicting the President’s former wife, … Read moreHookers and Porn Models in Uproar after ‘Mario Kart’ Trump Dick Revelation

Google Search Results of Trump Raging about Google Search Results Go Viral

Google Search Results of Trump Raging about Google Search Results Go Viral

Trending: Trump anger over Google search results about his anger make him angrier, causing huge spike in search ranking for ‘Trump anger.’ The man in the White House, president for at least a little while … Read moreGoogle Search Results of Trump Raging about Google Search Results Go Viral

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