The New Golden Bough

Many of the people of the Sacramento Valley in California have been found to engage in a strange seasonal religious practice involving the worship of the goddess Diphenhydramine. As these rites tend to begin in the Spring and proceed throughout the typical growing season the Goddess worship is thought to be a form of Neo-Paganism. Still, there are elements of Christian influence to be seen as well such as the symbolic rite of communion in which a small pink or pink and white host is passed from the Priest or priestess to the supplicant.

At the beginning of the liturgical exchange the supplicant is often heard to exclaim, “Oh Christ! My sinuses runneth over!”, or some variant on this. Then the Priest or Priestess shall respond, “I think I have a Benedryl. (Their name for the Host, the body of the Goddess Diphenhydramine incarnate.) Here. Take this.” The supplicant then gives thanks. This is usually followed by a period of quiet contemplation while the supplicant waits for the blessing of the Goddess to descend upon him (usually about 45 minutes).

Thus we see that the cult of Diphenhydramine, like many Afro-Caribbean religions such as Voudoun or Santaria, seems to incorporate both Christian and Pagan or animistic elements.

The cult is growing rapidly in this region. An alarming percentage of the most devout practitioners of other faiths convert within a few years after moving into the valley.

Be seeing you.

The Town Scryer
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