By Roz Warren and Janet Golden
Standing in the check out line, you see plenty of magazines offering stories like âWhat He Isnât Telling Youâ and “How to Tell if Your Man Is Cheating.” But in todayâs crazy world it isnât enough to know whether your partner is stepping out with another woman, or if he secretly wants to go to the playoffs with the guys instead of to that wedding weekend for your sister-in-lawâs first cousin. What you really need to know are:
The 15 signs that your husband is thinking of voting Republican:
1) âSarah Palinâs Alaskaâ is the first item in his Netflix queue, and the next twenty items are all movies starring Mel Gibson or Charlton Heston.
2) The words âBook of Mormonâ are jotted down on a notepad by his side of the bed — and he hates Broadway shows.
3) In the throes of passion, instead of calling out your name, he calls for tax cuts.
4) He wants to name the new puppy âMitt.â
5) His wallet is stuffed with Godfatherâs Pizza receipts.
6) Heâs started singing John Ashcroftâs âLet the Eagle Soarâ in the shower.
7) A post-it by the computer reads âGoogle Ricksantorum.com, NOT Rick Santorum.â
8) He tells your teenaged son, âRon Paul supports the legalization of marijuana — so letâs toke up!â
9) After Governor Christie pulls out of the race, he spends the afternoon crying at the donut shop. âTears are the new macho,â he explains between sobs. âJohn Boehner gets weepy too, so itâs okay.â
10) Michele Bachman and Sarah Palin are on the MILF list hidden in his sock drawer.
11) He asks if the task of changing the babyâs diapers can be sent off-shore.
12) When your daughter brings her friends home from elementary school, he demands to see documentation that theyâre in this country legally.
13) Thereâs an ASK ME ABOUT GLENN BECK bumper sticker on his car.
14) He mutters, as he hogs all the covers, that sharing the blankets is part of a socialist agenda.
15) You find a Tri-corner hat hidden in the back of his closet AND the giant box of teabags you bought at the supermarket last week have gone missing.
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