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Lone Gunman Storms NRA

Dec 172012
 
 By , December 17, 2012

Man Blasts Away With NRA-Supported Gun

BREAKING NEWS- A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using a NRA approved assault rifle that the organization has been fighting to be allowed to sell openly.

It is known that a number of people in the office are dead or wounded, having been hit by the sporadic fire from the assailant. It is believed that the body count is even higher due to the NRA staff all having guns on their body that they have shooting back with, unfortunately often hitting other fellow employees instead of the intended gunman who, like the last couple serial killers has armored himself head to toe in bulletproof material.

Police have arrived at the area, but are unable to approach the building because of the wild fire coming out of it in all directions. More news as we get it.

BREAKING NEWS- A violent explosion has ripped through the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia where a lone gunman was known to be engaging in a bitter gun battle with the employees that he is apparently attacking. More news as we get it.

BREAKING NEWS- Police have finally been able to enter the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina where an explosion has ripped apart the front of the building. A half hour before the blast a gunman entered the office and began shooting. It appears that the gunman had an Afghan type suicide explosive attached to his chest that he set off. Police have determined that he was not an Al Queda operative, but rather an American, a solid NRA member, and is in fact an employee at the headquarters. Apparently he was disgruntled by the fact that he was subject to harassment by his co-workers who labeled him a wussy who carried a “girly gun”.

NRA Spokesperson Pate Riot has stated “This is not right! No one in America should be allowed to use bombs like the one this man had. They should be outlawed. If everyone had bombs like this there would be mayhem. Innocent people all over the country would be getting killed. It is time our government did something about it!”

Mr. Riot later, after getting a small piece of shrapnel removed from his thigh, came out with a second statement that “This tragic event should not stop people from going out and buying guns.”

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Author’s note: Don’t think this is funny?
I don’t think it is funny that a 20 year old can get access to three semi-automatic weapons and massacre twenty little kids with it. Or that anyone can get access to a machine with that much killing power. Or that a professional organization with massive power and funds would promote for anybody to be able to get them.

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Roger Freed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor. For something in a more serious mode get "The Book Of Songs" by Roger Freed from Lulu.com. A collection of short stories illustrating the subtle and powerful influence music can have on our minds and our spirits.