[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
A ‘Casual Friday’ gone wild
The faithful workers at Syrius Enterprises & Technologies Incorporated had little reason to believe that last Friday would prove to be any different than most other “Fundays” (which is what their boss, unfortunately, has named all casual Fridays)–or that they would be in for the surprise of their humdrum lives.
Even more-so, never would they have imagined in a million years that Dink would be the one to surprise them.
Dink Furtlebottom, a seemingly normal human being from great distances was someone who became increasingly eccentric the closer you got to him. A diligent worker and tireless follower– Dink would go around the mountain to avoid even looking at the cart. He took things at face value and happily thought of himself as a tiny yet efficient cog in the great machine of industry, and even life itself.
This is why, when his boss sent out a memo about the weekly work “party” (which usually consisted of various kinds of chips along with five extra minutes added to their lunch break) asking the employees of SETI to “bare” with them because they needed that time to hold an emergency meeting, Dink followed that memo to the last horrific letter.
Because when he read it, “bare” was not a typo for “bear,” and this memo was simply informing them about a newly recognized Go To Work Naked Day.
Unfortunately, his bosses failed to see things from his perspective and, on his letter of termination, couldn’t emphasize enough that “Dink and his link were no longer welcome on these premises for any reason whatsoever.”
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