[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Putin Offers to Exchange WNBA Star Brittney Griner for MLB Teams

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

The trade would send MLB’s New York Yankees and Chicago Cubs to Russia for WNBA Star Brittney Griner.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has offered to President Biden to release WNBA star Brittney Griner in exchange for the relocation to Russia of famed MLB franchises the New York Yankees and the Chicago Cubs.

Brittney Griner
Brittney Griner. By BDZ Sports, CC BY-SA 4.0.

The teams would become part of Putin’s newly formed Russo-Asian Baseball Federation. The Yankees would be quartered in Moscow and be renamed the Moscow Mules. The Cubs would be located in northern Russia and would be called the Siberian Huskies.

Teams already in the league include the Volga Boatmen, the Singapore Slings, the Hong Kong Hammers, the Beijing Boppers, the Macau Magic, the Vladavostock Vipers, the Gobi Desert Dingers and the Shanghai Socialists. There are rumors that the New York Mets will relocate to the Phillipines and be called the Manilla Folders.

Also a rumor that Senator Bernie Sanders will be league commissioner.

One major difference in the RABF and MLB is that losing teams and anyone batting below .200 will be inducted into the Russian Army and shipped to the Ukraine.

SNN Words To Live By

“Gimme dat ding.” — Pipken 1969 song, Gimme Dat Ding.

“People who are truthful are sometimes labeled controversial.” — Reggie Jackson, baseball player.

“What’s goose for the girl is good for the gander.” — Chrissy Snow (Suzanne Somers), Three’s Company TV show.

Ted Holland