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Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More!

Jan 182014
 
 By , January 18, 2014
Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More!

Argus comments on Medicare, Duck Dynasty, Francoise Hollande and more.

The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides for male senior recipients. The White House pointed out this is not a feature of Obama Care. It’s Clinton Care if it’s anything.

The Denver Broncos and Peyton Manning will host the New England Patriots and Tom Brady on Sunday for the AFC title in Denver. The local fans are the most hospitable in the league. When people in Colorado say hi to each other, it’s no longer a greeting, it’s a question.

Duck Dynasty survived gay anger against Phil Robertson and returned Wednesday. He offended gays in a GQ interview. It’s weird that A&E hired Phil Robertson for being a colorful backwoods redneck and then suspended him for sounding like a colorful backwoods redneck.

The FBI’s investigation concluded that the IRS did not target opposition groups during the last election. It only added to public cynicism. Will Rogers once joked that Americans have the best government money can buy, then he died in a mysterious plane crash in Alaska.

French President Francoise Hollande promised he’ll choose between his girlfriend and mistress before next month’s White House visit. A weary America, sick to death of fourteen years of division over oil wars, race, recession and health care, cheered. This sex scandal could sweep the Clintons back into the White House just for their entertainment value alone.

North Koreans are reportedly holding secret movie parties where they watch Hollywood DVDs smuggled into the country. This country’s got a long way to go. Last night Kim Jung Un watched Twelve Years a Slave and found himself enjoying it for all the wrong reasons.

Secretary of State John Kerry told reporters in Rome Tuesday that President Obama is planning to come to the Vatican to meet with Pope Francis this year. It’s important that the president and the pope talk things out. Neither one likes the other’s holier-than-thou attitude.

The U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee released a report saying the White House knew that Benghazi was a terror attack all along. It was never over an anti-Muslim video as they claimed. President Obama is in so much political trouble he may have to kill bin Laden again.

President Obama vowed to bypass Congress if they halt his agenda Monday. It added to the evidence he’s been hanging out with Chris Christie. He just authorized a feasibility study on closing the road between the U.S. Capitol and Reagan National on Wednesday nights.

U.S. Consul General in Naples Donald Moore was accused of running the U.S. consulate in Naples like his own sex party pad. The accuser says hookers have the door codes to get into the building. It comes standard whenever the Secret Service installs your security system.

The Detroit Auto Show named the 2015 Ford truck its Truck of the Year Tuesday. The truck gives the driver a unique experience because it’s made out of aluminum. Imagine Nolan Ryan getting in a bar fight and you’re inside a beer can going a hundred miles an hour.

Justin Bieber’s house was raided by L.A. sheriffs after neighbors said he had egged their houses. They arrested a rap star they found in his house with drugs but they weren’t sure if it was cocaine or ecstasy. The police will know for sure based on how much money they get.

L.A. County sheriffs transported the drugs found at Justin Bieber’s house to the lab for analysis. It’s all too soon. His manager is devastated that Bieber got caught with drugs at his house at age nineteen before he had a chance to get hooked on them and make some decent music.

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Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country.