[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Network to Dispatch Millions of Infected Viewers to Rub Out Liberals
A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents.
A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals that a plot is underfoot to unleash millions of mentally altered FOX ‘Frankenfans’ upon all Americans who are at all left of center in the political realm.
Having for years mentally conditioned their rabid fan base to react negatively to all things liberal or leftist, the FOX plan calls for uploading the final input into their brains soon. This would be the last information needed to turn their media followers into rabid, foaming at the mouth zombies. Their goal — tearing the alleged liberal enemy to bits.
The final coded message will be delivered on the Halloween early news, turning their dogmatic, tunnel visioned fans into mad carriers of death, the images of local liberal and non-conservatives and their addresses burned into their brains where they can be found and devoured live.
Halloween night was picked as the night of action because the zombie like FOXtroids will be indistinguishable from the many bizarrely clad trick or treaters out that night.
The horrendous shrieks and screams of their victims will also not seem out of place on this traditional night of horror. By FOX’s estimate, this night, dubbed by them as ‘The Night Of RIGHTeous Revenge’, will result in mayhem more widespread than that of Germany’s Kristallnacht or France’s St. Bartholomews Night.
The once human monstrosities will go down the streets of America chanting the mantras that were imbedded into their brains over and over again through the years: “Obama socialist!” “Cheney hero!” “Healthcare kills!” “Bush tax cuts good!” “Dismember and eat Michael Moore!”
To make the horror even more horrendous, all the Frankenfans will be wearing horrifying Rupert Murdoch masks that will scare the hell out of anyone trying to stop the mayhem.
Like the above content? Leave a comment below! Get notified of new content on HumorTimes.com: Subscribe via email!