Lost Journal: Don’t Disturb the Doll Downstairs!
Journal entry: August 11, 2008 (age 39) – The Doll Downstairs When you buy your first house, your parents are happy. They’re happy because it means they can force you to get all of your … Read more
Halloween
Lost Journal: Wan Man Plans for a Halloween Tan
Journal entry: October 30, 2009 (age 40) – Halloween Tan While deciding on a Halloween costume this year, the most frightening image I could conjure was of me… with a tan. An Irishman of the … Read more
Lost Journal: The Halloween Costume Piece Accords of 1973
Journal entry: October 31, 1973 (age 4) – Halloween Costume Accords As I admired my new Halloween costume in the mirror, I said, “Ri ruv Ralloreen.” To play Scooby-Doo, you have to match his speech impediment. … Read more
Scary Masks: Midterm Elections and Halloween
The midterm elections and Halloween are similar: both events highlight tricks and treats Hey everybody. The Midterms Are Coming! Or rather: the midterms are coming. To be most precise; themidtermsarecoming. Because the general response of … Read more
A Tale of Three Titties
Tri-boobs for Tridevil she-devil? Now that I’ve let my New York Times subscription lapse, I get most of my news online. When I logged on this morning, this headline caught my eye: “Woman Gets Third … Read more
Between Birthday and Sympathy: What I Heard and Saw in the Greeting Card Aisles
I was once a “Card Guy” – or rather, a greeting card merchandiser. The transition of greeting cards is much like watching the seasons change: Halloween in the fall; Christmas in the winter; Valentine’s Day … Read more
Best Costumes of White House Halloween Ball Announced
White House Halloween Ball Costume Winners! The Reuters News Service has published the results of the voting on who (and what) wore the best costumes to the 2013 Halloween Ball at the White House. A … Read more
White House Reveals “ObamaScare” Website Was Just a Halloween Stunt
‘We thought we’d have a bit of Halloween fun is all,’ said the president It turns out all the problems with the “ObamaCare” website were created intentionally, as a Halloween prank to “scare the bejesus … Read more
Specialty-Themed Political Haunted Houses
Niche Haunted Houses are all the rage In the latest craze to hit the Halloween crowd, horror fans are creating Haunted Houses for very specific groups. Each is tailor made to scare the bone marrow … Read more
The Most Horrific Haunted House of All Time: PMDD House
‘House of Women with PMDD’ hands down scariest haunted house A new haunted house has been set up in Boulder Colorado that seems set to rank as the most frightening of all time — the … Read more