In order to insure your physical security and mental safety, we have compiled a scary list of reasons why Halloween is so monstrously like Election Day. You’re welcome! Be careful out there, folks! We’re in … Read moreScary, Scary!
The real spine-chilling gremlins of the season are the office-seeking politicians of the extreme right, demanding votes on Election Day. As we enter another long season of direful winter darkness, we are beset by back-to-back … Read moreBeware of the Real Gremlins This Season
Say they’re fighting to keep the “Happy” in “Happy Halloween,” and insist that the “war on Halloween” must end. By Carrie Pinkard Local Satanists Gary Slaughter and Bertha Blackwood are fighting to end the “war … Read moreLocal Satanists Deplore ‘War on Halloween’
Journal entry: August 11, 2008 (age 39) – The Doll Downstairs When you buy your first house, your parents are happy. They’re happy because it means they can force you to get all of your … Read moreLost Journal: Don’t Disturb the Doll Downstairs!
Journal entry: October 30, 2009 (age 40) – Halloween Tan While deciding on a Halloween costume this year, the most frightening image I could conjure was of me… with a tan. An Irishman of the … Read moreLost Journal: Wan Man Plans for a Halloween Tan
Journal entry: October 31, 1973 (age 4) – Halloween Costume Accords As I admired my new Halloween costume in the mirror, I said, “Ri ruv Ralloreen.” To play Scooby-Doo, you have to match his speech impediment. … Read moreLost Journal: The Halloween Costume Piece Accords of 1973
The midterm elections and Halloween are similar: both events highlight tricks and treats Hey everybody. The Midterms Are Coming! Or rather: the midterms are coming. To be most precise; themidtermsarecoming. Because the general response of … Read moreScary Masks: Midterm Elections and Halloween
Tri-boobs for Tridevil she-devil? Now that I’ve let my New York Times subscription lapse, I get most of my news online. When I logged on this morning, this headline caught my eye: “Woman Gets Third … Read moreA Tale of Three Titties
I was once a “Card Guy” – or rather, a greeting card merchandiser. The transition of greeting cards is much like watching the seasons change: Halloween in the fall; Christmas in the winter; Valentine’s Day … Read moreBetween Birthday and Sympathy: What I Heard and Saw in the Greeting Card Aisles
White House Halloween Ball Costume Winners! The Reuters News Service has published the results of the voting on who (and what) wore the best costumes to the 2013 Halloween Ball at the White House. A … Read moreBest Costumes of White House Halloween Ball Announced