Orange is the News Blackout: Halloween Greetings

People in positions of authority suggest Halloween greetings for Trick or Treaters.

Halloween Greetings
Image from giveawayboy on

With Halloween around the corner, it’s important for people who are in positions of authority to set the proper example, so that every child who goes trick or treating will be safe during the pandemic. Adults should be protected, too. Accordingly, we prepared a short list of Halloween greetings to deceive and deter public officials, as we now dread entering the holiday season. This will make it easier to endure, if not transcend, the twilight time spent waiting for the bell to toll. The Reaper deserves his deadly due. So open the door ‘n let ’em hear it.

(1) Fr. John J. Jenkins, President, University of Notre Dame:
O Lord, Wear One for the Gipper.

(2) Kayleigh McEnany, Press Secretary, White House, Washington, D.C.:
Stay home, and read On the Rhodes.

(3) Chris Wallace, Fox News Network:
Don’t turn over your father’s grave.

(4) Eric Trump, heir to the throne room:
Discard your mask, having removed all doubt.

(5) Melania Trump, aka FLOTUS:
Be your best elf; let ‘em eat coats; and give the country a rigging break.

(6) Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director, NIAID:
Say it ain’t so, Tony! Say it ain’t so!

(7) Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-SC:
Munch a cracker before each badtime; enlarge bribes, condemn multitudes; burn home movies, destroy negatives.

(8) Judge Amy Coney Barrett, 7th Circuit Court of Appeals, Supreme Court nominee:
Recuse yourself from the Church choir; confine capitol punishment to Congress; give the Haitian Revolution a chance.

(9) Joe Biden, candidate for U.S. President:
Find the right address for Gettysburg; beg Kamala to wear her Bernie costume; practice for virtual debate with self.

(10) Vladimir Putin, President of Russia:
No more tricks, or we’ll mistreat you!

Dennis Rohatyn
Latest posts by Dennis Rohatyn (see all)