Learning about the Birds & the Bees is embarrassing enough, but here’s how the awkward sex talk went down in Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s busy shoe!
The real names of the kids in this ‘sex talk’ have been changed to protect… well, me! ha ha
JUDGE AMY CONEY BARRETT
You know why we’re having ‘That Talk’ today?
ALL
Do-we-have-to?
JIMMY
I won’t wear Mary’s panties again, I promise!
JUDGE AMY
I didn’t know about that – but, thank you Jimmy.
Susie, you know where babies come from?
SUSIE
The hospital.
JUDGE AMY
Did daddy tell you that?
SUSIE
No, he said the Stork read too many Playboy Magazines!
JOHNNY
I know, I know! When a man & a woman…
JUDGE AMY
Let me finish that… a bride & groom come back from Aruba & buy Law Books!
TIMMY
Why can’t we ever sing “Roe, Roe, Roe your Boat” around here?
JUDGE AMY
That would be a hypothetical question, next!
ALICE
What if someone gets pregnant & they already have too many?
JUDGE AMY
Keep counting!
RALPH
Are we gonna have more brothers & sisters?
JUDGE AMY
Does the Pope love to Tango?
MURRY
What is petting?
JUDGE AMY
That’s a rhetorical question & yes, you can be excused.
JIMMY
What do you do if some of your kids are bad?
JUDGE AMY
Don’t worry, Jimmy – I’ll get you your own panties.
TIMMY
What’s ‘a hanging chad’ you yelled out in the bedroom last night?
JUDGE AMY
Ask your damn father – he’s still on the couch!
BILLY
Can I go to bed now?
JUDGE AMY
Not until you know everything about the birds & the bees!
BILLY
I’m 3 years old – I can’t keep my eyes open!
JUDGE AMY
I’m going to be on the Supreme Court & it’s a lifetime job – so this may be the last time I’ll get to scare you about sex.
BILLY
Don’t worry, Mom – I’ll just watch Jimmy!
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