Learning about the Birds & the Bees is embarrassing enough, but here’s how the awkward sex talk went down in Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s busy shoe!
The real names of the kids in this ‘sex talk’ have been changed to protect… well, me! ha ha
JUDGE AMY CONEY BARRETT
You know why we’re having ‘That Talk’ today?
I won’t wear Mary’s panties again, I promise!
I didn’t know about that – but, thank you Jimmy.
Susie, you know where babies come from?
Did daddy tell you that?
No, he said the Stork read too many Playboy Magazines!
I know, I know! When a man & a woman…
Let me finish that… a bride & groom come back from Aruba & buy Law Books!
Why can’t we ever sing “Roe, Roe, Roe your Boat” around here?
That would be a hypothetical question, next!
What if someone gets pregnant & they already have too many?
Are we gonna have more brothers & sisters?
Does the Pope love to Tango?
What is petting?
That’s a rhetorical question & yes, you can be excused.
What do you do if some of your kids are bad?
Don’t worry, Jimmy – I’ll get you your own panties.
What’s ‘a hanging chad’ you yelled out in the bedroom last night?
Ask your damn father – he’s still on the couch!
Can I go to bed now?
Not until you know everything about the birds & the bees!
I’m 3 years old – I can’t keep my eyes open!
I’m going to be on the Supreme Court & it’s a lifetime job – so this may be the last time I’ll get to scare you about sex.
Don’t worry, Mom – I’ll just watch Jimmy!
- Donald Who? Help Me Exorcise Old Trump Quotes from My Head! - January 21, 2021
- America’s Colonic Cleansing Apres Trump! - January 8, 2021
- 2021 or Bust: This Will Be the First Year I Don’t Need to… - December 29, 2020