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Escalating Stratagems for Avoiding Overeating This Holiday Season - Howard Zaharoff, Humor Times

Escalating Stratagems for Avoiding Overeating This Holiday Season

,

My strategy for avoiding overeating this year.

Avoiding overeating holiday treats

  1. I will ignore the email that says someone left donuts or cupcakes in the kitchen.
  2. I will avoid the kitchen for the next three hours.
  3. I will keep my butt planted in my chair – rather than magically lifting every 2 minutes in a kitchenly direction – for the next 30 minutes.
  4. I will wait till someone else removes the outer wrapping.
  5. I will wait till someone else opens the box.
  6. I will wait till someone else takes the first one.
  7. I will not eat in the presence of a co-worker.
  8. I will only eat a third of a piece.
  9. I will only eat another third.
  10. I will self-righteously leave behind some buttercream frosting.
  11. Or at least some crusty bottom.
  12. I will offset this indulgence by eating less today at lunch.
  13. Less tomorrow at lunch.
  14. It was only a few hundred calories, so I don’t have to eat less, just not repeat this overeating frequently.
  15. Not repeat it daily.
  16. Not repeat it again this morning.
  17. I will not do this ALL THE TIME.
  18. I will shift money from my vacation account to my clothing account… just in case.
  19. I will buy a few items of wider clothing, but will keep my tightening pants and shirts (possibly caused by hot water wash?) for when I lose the holiday weight.
  20. I will do a Good Will clothing drop off next weekend. Sigh.
Howard Zaharoff
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