Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

Observations on an Italian Summer Sojourn

By Howard Zaharoff, August 25, 2017August 26, 2017

Observations on an Italian Summer Sojourn

We survived our Italian summer – it was tough, but someone’s got to do it! It’s hard to learn even the most basic tourist phrases of another language (hello; excuse me; pardon the fart; where … Read more

Politically Correct Motion Picture Ratings

By Howard Zaharoff, June 27, 2017July 5, 2017

Politically Correct Motion Picture Ratings

MPAA film rating system updated for an era of polarization and the politically correct. G – General Audiences. All politics accepted. Nothing too offensive to conservatives or liberals. Lassie may come home. Miracles may occur … Read more

Books Not Currently on the President’s Nightstand

By Howard Zaharoff, May 14, 2017

Books Not Currently on the President’s Nightstand

Here are some books we can be pretty sure are not being read by President Trump: The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama The Everything Guide to Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Professional, reassuring advice for coping … Read more

In Praise of Catchy Book Subtitles

By Howard Zaharoff, April 26, 2017April 26, 2017

In Praise of Catchy Book Subtitles

More books are being embellished with catchy subtitles – here’s some more suggestions. Because books compete for readers’ attention with many less demanding entertainments – from film and TV to streaming video and interactive games … Read more

Have Yourself a Very Donald Holiday Season

By Howard Zaharoff, December 28, 2016

Last minute shopper? There’s still time to buy your loved ones a new Trump-era technogadget for the holiday season. Here are our top-rated holiday season gift ideas: FITBIT CHARGE DT. Easily check your vital signs … Read more

A Modern Jewish-American Confession

By Howard Zaharoff, December 20, 2016

During the Jewish New Year, congregants recite the “Vidui” – updated and secularized here for the benefit of every American. During the High Holidays, which includes the Jewish New Year, congregants recite the “Vidui” (or … Read more

Why Turning 65 Is So Great

By Howard Zaharoff, May 3, 2016

A few reasons turning 65 is actually pretty awesome! Turning 65 is daunting – a definite tunnel at the end of the light – but the more I think about it, the more I can … Read more

Music I Dance To

By Howard Zaharoff, February 26, 2016

As I get older, it’s harder to get me on the dance floor. As I get older, it’s harder and harder to get me on the dance floor (or, if I really strut my stuff, … Read more

The GOP Bowl

By Howard Zaharoff, October 8, 2015January 6, 2016

The GOP Bowl

The playoffs continue, with the GOP on Fox… “New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady threw his support behind GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump … [and] says he thinks his golf partner can win …” — … Read more

Conjugal Forecasting, or: If Marital Events Were Reported Like the Stock Market

By Howard Zaharoff, September 8, 2015

Wouldn’t it be nice if marital life could be summarized as neatly as financial news? It’s always amused me that financial reporters write as if all economic behavior can be reduced to a haiku-length recitation … Read more