Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

A Powerhouse of Dragon Rings

By Howard Zaharoff, November 3, 2022November 23, 2022

A Powerhouse of Dragon Rings

Streaming “House of the Dragon” and “The Rings of Power” simultaneously causes confusion for this viewer. I am streaming “House of the Dragon” and “The Rings of Power” … Read more

Neuroses of a Homebound Traveler

By Howard Zaharoff, August 21, 2022August 19, 2022

Neuroses of a Homebound Traveler

Trying to get a handle on the many odd neuroses and anxieties that may pop up when traveling post-pandemic. As we slowly emerge from COVID-quarantine, it’s time for … Read more

New Measurements That Beat the ‘Speed of Light’

By Howard Zaharoff, December 25, 2021December 25, 2021

New Measurements That Beat the ‘Speed of Light’

The speed of light may be a handy unit for scientists, but we lay folk need some helpful new measures for daily use. Since nothing moves as fast … Read more

Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President

By Howard Zaharoff, July 6, 2021July 6, 2021

Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President

The former prez wants back in the White House. So, for his edification, we present the Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President, as drafted by the always-reliable … Read more

The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah

By Howard Zaharoff, March 29, 2021

The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah

For a Passover Seder as Sweet as Uncle Walt … and Twice as Jewish! A special Passover Haggadah. To mark the 50th anniversary of Walt Disney World, we … Read more

Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not)

By Howard Zaharoff, February 6, 2021February 6, 2021

Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not)

Any idiom on this list has run its course and should be “put out to pasture.” The idiom “on steroids” — as in “COVID is like the flu, … Read more

A Murder of Crows, Etc.

By Howard Zaharoff, January 23, 2021December 6, 2022

A Murder of Crows, Etc.

Animal groups get names like “murder of crows” — what if we did the same for humans? Animal groups often receive exotic names, such as a pride of … Read more

Modernizing the Wisdom of the Great Philosophers

By Howard Zaharoff, November 3, 2020November 2, 2020

Modernizing the Wisdom of the Great Philosophers

The great philosophers left us much wisdom, but, hey, it’s 2020! It’s not easy to update the great philosophers. But let’s give it a shot: Socrates: One thing … Read more

Dialogue with the Editor: Why THIS and not THAT?

By Howard Zaharoff, June 25, 2020June 24, 2020

Dialogue with the Editor: Why THIS and not THAT?

A dialogue with the editor: Me: Why have I written THIS, you ask, the meh one, and not THAT, the funny one? Editor: Yes, exactly! Me: Hmm, not … Read more

What I Will Do Differently Now That 23andMe Says I’m Only 5% Jewish but 45% Italian

By Howard Zaharoff, May 3, 2020January 26, 2021

What I Will Do Differently Now That 23andMe Says I’m Only 5% Jewish but 45% Italian

Changing a lifetime of behavioral traits won’t be easy, but now that 23andMe has revealed the real me… No more jokes about the Mafia, La Cosa Nostra or … Read more