New Measurements That Beat the ‘Speed of Light’
The speed of light may be a handy unit for scientists, but we lay folk need some helpful new measures for daily use. Since nothing moves as fast … Read more
Howard Zaharoff
Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President
The former prez wants back in the White House. So, for his edification, we present the Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President, as drafted by the always-reliable … Read more
The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah
For a Passover Seder as Sweet as Uncle Walt … and Twice as Jewish! A special Passover Haggadah. To mark the 50th anniversary of Walt Disney World, we … Read more
Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not)
Any idiom on this list has run its course and should be “put out to pasture.” The idiom “on steroids” — as in “COVID is like the flu, … Read more
A Murder of Crows, Etc.
Animal groups get names like “murder of crows” — what if we did the same for humans? Animal groups often receive exotic names, such as a pride of … Read more
Modernizing the Wisdom of the Great Philosophers
The great philosophers left us much wisdom, but, hey, it’s 2020! It’s not easy to update the great philosophers. But let’s give it a shot: Socrates: One thing … Read more
Things We Used to Say, and Still Do, But They Don’t Mean the Same
Things that don’t mean the same as before: pre-COVID vs post-COVID. [table id=2 /]
Dialogue with the Editor: Why THIS and not THAT?
A dialogue with the editor: Me: Why have I written THIS, you ask, the meh one, and not THAT, the funny one? Editor: Yes, exactly! Me: Hmm, not … Read more
What I Will Do Differently Now That 23andMe Says I’m Only 5% Jewish but 45% Italian
Changing a lifetime of behavioral traits won’t be easy, but now that 23andMe has revealed the real me… No more jokes about the Mafia, La Cosa Nostra or … Read more
Excerpts from Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Presidents’
“Pride and Presidents” excerpts, as retold by Howard Zaharoff Chapter 1 It is a truth universally acknowledged, at least among pols and party bosses, that a single man … Read more
