“World‘s Funniest News Source”
Howard Zaharoff 
Lose It! is for losers – get the weight management tool that works for you! Have you heard friends rave about the popular diet app Lose It! (“Food … Read more Flamed Out With Lose It!? Manage Weight Gain with Loosen It!
My strategy for avoiding overeating this year. I will ignore the email that says someone left donuts or cupcakes in the kitchen. I will avoid the kitchen for … Read more Escalating Stratagems for Avoiding Overeating This Holiday Season
We, the Goldfarbs, welcome you to our vacation home, Goldfarbolandia! Of course, we want you to have a great time, so great that you’ll recommend us on social … Read more The Goldfarbs’ Home Rental Rules
Most never suspected Walt Whitman would even consider the post of White House Press Secretary. Are you, Walt Whitman, prepared to affirm the truth of all I tweet … Read more Walt Whitman’s Application for White House Press Secretary
The Mummy, Tom Cruise’s 2017 horror flick, had faux endings that just kept piling on top of one another. The Tom Cruise horror flick, The Mummy, has a … Read more The Dozen Endings of ‘The Mummy’ and What I Thought They Meant
Memorandum: Super Bowl LIII – Consider a Wider Range of Official Suppliers Date: January 12, 2019 From: NFL Properties, Committee on Suppliers and Sponsors To: National Football League … Read more Super Bowl LIII Update: Sneak Preview of NFL Official Sponsors
Although I cannot recall where I may have met and exchanged business or V cards with you (or someone from your organization), I am extremely grateful for your … Read more Dear Anonymous Sender: Thank You for Your Holiday E-Card
“The Persons, Who Evade From Checking Procedure, Aren’t Supposed for Boarding!” — Sign at Dnipropetrovsk International Airport (Ukraine) Welcome, boarding persons to Float Number 285, Ukraine Airlines. We … Read more The Persons, Who Evade From Checking Procedure, Aren’t Supposed for Boarding!
Hi! We love your house and want to be its next owners! We’re the couple that came in five minutes before your open house ended, trailing three adorable … Read more We Want Your House
Hey, guy in the next stall, get a clue! You can stop trying to hide your identity by tucking your shoes behind the bowl: I recognize your Stefano … Read more Notes for the Fellow in the Next Stall
