Social Justice Platforms Suggest New Holidays
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Certain groups have suggested a group of new holidays to reflect the essence of today’s “New America.” Madam Doctor Ophelia Yudamn Skippy, … Read more
holiday
Kringle Thinks He’s Single & Unwraps His Dating Profile: ‘MUST LOVE DEER!’
Mrs. Claus gives Santa aka Kris Kringle aka BowlFullofJelly a ‘Deck the Halls Pass’! It’s true! Santa wants to trade-in the old Mrs for a brand new Better-Half-his-age … Read more
Easter Bunny Jailed in Russia
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) After the KGB found plastic explosives in Putin’s Easter basket, a nationwide bunny-hunt was launched and the Easter Bunny jailed, say authorities. … Read more
Obsessive-Compulsive Santa Is Checking His List Twice…Then Three More Times, Plus Once More After That (Just To Be Sure)
Everyone knows Santa is careful, but no one knew just how careful. He’s Obsessive-Compulsive Santa! The reindeer? Fed. The elves? Cleaning. Mrs. Claus? Fast asleep, probably thanks to … Read more
This Isn’t a Haunted House… It’s a Haunted Home!
A haunted house is one thing, but a haunted home can be much worse. Scarecrows lined our way through the field until we reached a maze of headstones, … Read more
Trump’s Valentine Tweets
On Valentine’s Day, most folks exchange cards. However, we expect President Trump to send out Valentine tweets instead, like these: Donald Trump to the Electoral College The Midwest … Read more
Local Satanists Deplore ‘War on Halloween’
Say they’re fighting to keep the “Happy” in “Happy Halloween,” and insist that the “War on Halloween” must end. By Carrie Pinkard Local Satanists Gary Slaughter and Bertha … Read more
The Most Underrated Holiday: Labor Day
Let us take a few minutes to talk about the most underrated holiday of them all: Labor Day. Let us take a few minutes to talk about the … Read more
Have a Trump-Free Day!
It is time to institute a new holiday into our already heavily-laden days-off agenda: Trump-Free Day! (Our brethren government employees always want more excuses for days off !) With the … Read more
The Loudest Holiday
The 4th of July: the loudest holiday Hey everybody; you know all that anxiety that’s been building up? Well, just let it go and relax now, because the 4th … Read more
