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[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]

Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Now Visible from Space

Aug 182013
 By , August 18, 2013

Inconvenient truth for Al Gore

Spectacular new images of Earth were released by NASA yesterday detailing various aspects of our magnificent blue and green marble.

Al Gore, carbon footprintOne photo in particular stood out above the rest: a crystal clear shot of billions of carbon molecules in the form of a giant footprint covering most of North America.

Scientists would have been completely in the dark as to the owner of the footprint if not for the letters “GORE” on the bottom of the foot.

Apparently, what started out as a tiny dot not worth mentioning has turned into one of the greatest marvels in all of human history.  And, according to scientists monitoring this man-made phenomena affecting our ozone, Mr. Gore deserves all of the credit.

“It’s amazing really,” said one climatologist. “Not only has he eloquently explained to us what not to do in regards to greenhouse gas emissions, Al Gore has effectively shown it as well.”

In a little more than a decade, the former vice president’s carbon/greenhouse gas output has exceeded what most people can only hope to achieve in a lifetime.

“It wasn’t easy,” Al Gore revealed. “But eventually, with the aid of multiple large homes, zinc mines, private jets, limousines, and a hearty carnivorous diet, I showed the world what one man can do to affect our climate.”

Fortunately, Mr. Gore’s historic accomplishment has not gone unnoticed and, therefore, will not be forgotten here on Earth.  It is currently being recommended by the IPCC to replace the Pyramids or the Taj Mahal as one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

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Jeff Boldt is an English teacher living in China and the writer and editor of Iron E-News, a website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world -- at times all too closely mirroring our own.

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