[Disclaimer: This article is a "fake news" piece. Proceed at your own risk!]
Don’t bother, guys, his free back rubs are only for the ladies.
Albert Grohper is a bit handsy.
According to a number of coworkers, though they live their lives surrounded everyday by the lines of cubicles, reports, graphs, itemized receipts, restrooms, and cafeterias, somehow the lines of social propriety evade Mr. Grohper.
“It’s getting out of control,” said Meredith Wen, a clerk that has the unfortunate position of occupying the cubicle next to Al. “I constantly have to find excuses to not be around whenever he gets up. People must think I have the bladder of a scared puppy. Oh God, here he comes.”
We approached Albert as he came near his cluttered desk and, after telling him we were doing a piece on the struggles of women in the workplace, we posed a few relevant questions to him.
“If they wanted us to take SEX-ual har-ASS-ment seriously,” Albert responded, with a cheeky grin. “Why call it that? I mean, come on. Think about it. The ladies are toying with us again.”
“I’ll never understand ’em. They tell me to my face that I’m such a great massaginist, and then they go behind my back and report me to the boss for ‘unwanted touching.’ What the heck?”
At this, Meredith couldn’t help but roll her eyes in noticeable exasperation.
Albert caught us glancing and said, “You talk to Meredith already? Don’t bother, she’s gay.”
Latest posts by Jeff Boldt (see all)
- Doctors Recommend 3 Selfies a Day to Combat ‘Failed Existence Syndrome’ - January 21, 2015
- Bush Authorizes Renewed Air Strikes in Iraq - August 9, 2014
- 10 Step Guide: How to Win Facebook Friends and Influence Virtual People - July 18, 2014
Like this content? Leave a comment below! Get notified of new content on HumorTimes.com: Subscribe via email!