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[Disclaimer: This article is a "fake news" piece. Proceed at your own risk!]

The Statue of Liberty’s First Message: “My Arm’s Tired”

Jul 062014
 By , July 6, 2014

Statue of Liberty breaks long silence

After more than a century of silence, the Statue of Liberty has finally spoken.  Yesterday evening, as the last few tourists ambled around her viewing platforms, she shocked the U.S. and the rest of the world when she revealed her ability to communicate.

Statue of LibertyThe young girl who spoke to her, however, wasn’t surprised at all.

Maria Gonzalez, daughter of two Cuban immigrants who came to America in search of a better life, said she had always wanted to see the iconic statue because of all that she had meant to her parents.

And from the moment she arrived in New York harbor, she struck up a conversation with her favorite lady, asking her about her likes and hobbies and if she ever had a boyfriend.

It was when she asked her how she was doing, that she actually replied.

“Maria was simply too cute to not say anything,” Lady Liberty said. “And she and her family are exactly who I want to feel welcome here.”

Later on, when members of the press came, they followed up on why her arm was so tired.

“You try holding this lamp up for over a hundred years,” she said to Fox News. “Besides, with all of your new immigration laws, is it even worth it anymore?”

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

— Emma Lazarus

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Jeff Boldt is an English teacher living in China and the writer and editor of Iron E-News, a website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world -- at times all too closely mirroring our own.

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