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Palin for Queen

Oct 022008
 By , October 2, 2008

Palin just finished with the debate tonight, and let me just say, I’m a convert, she really sold me tonight. I think she’s ready to be queen.

And queens don’t need no stinkin’ debate rules. You want to ask her this, she’ll answer with that — what America really needs to know — about her, about McCain, and about the Republican commitment to families all across this great land, and we just need to reform the economy and get it back on track, and she’ll do that, because she reformed Alaska, and Alaska has lots of resources there, you know, and it supplies energy for America, and it’s close to Russia, so she knows about foreign policy there too.

She’s a maverick’s maverick, and when she’s queen, she won’t be just part of the executive, because there’s flexibility there, and her administration would work with Congress and she’ll make the most of that flexibility, you know, that was written in the constitution there. And gosh darn it, like the current maverick vice-president Cheney, she would be part of the legislative branch as well, and being the ever-confident reformer, she would likely find a way to be part of the judicial branch too, because America needs that kind of leadership. Heck, maybe she could sit in on the Supreme Court on important issues like abortion and freedom of the press, and what goes into our libraries.

The far left says she didn’t even pay attention to the questions. But Palin didn’t need to — she answers to America. Because that’s what the Straight Talk Express is all about. What with everything she said about this and about that, and freedom, tolerance, family and freedom and all those things, and that folksy charm, I just can’t tell you. Yes, I think America saw our future matriarch tonight, and with the brood we saw on stage afterwards, her progeny could rule us for a long, long time. Long live the Queen!

She absorbed a lot of foreign policy experience from Kissinger, too, like passion. Oh, that Passion! That’s what she brings, with a smile, and confidence, and ya know, along with John McCain, she’ll bring pride back to America and a commitment to reform government, and get the government out of the way of the middle class, and help them purchase their own health care, not the feds health care, because we’ve seen what a mess the government makes of things — mostly the fault of Democrats, dontcha know.

As far as an energy policy, that’s her area of expertise. Her state provides 50% of the energy for the USA. We have to do all we can do to make this great land energy independent. Some in Congress don’t want to tap into our own energy supplies, to feed these hungry markets. They should just get outa the way. And it’s about a heckuva lot more, it’s about America and our energy future.

And as the governor of Alaska, she feels global warming more than any state, because snow is melting there. Sure, other states are being hit by hurricanes, floods, droughts and killer tornadoes, but Alaska is close to the Arctic, and Russia too — did I say that?

You want to talk economy? OK, she knows about that too. As governor, she is an executive and they are all about action, ya know. You see, the rescue plan has to reform Wall Street, and John McCain knows how to reform too, and they will stand up to the greed there. There have been more and more revelations made aware to Main Street, so we need to put politics aside — even the campaign — and we have to be more vigilant, so that the credit doesn’t freeze up, for the middle class and Main Street, which she’s from, cuz her and her mavericky secessionist husband have always been Main Streety and middle class and stuff.

And let’s get back to the energy plan. Palin took on the oil companies, because of the greed of their CEOs, and they are not her biggest fans. She broke up those monopolies there, and that’s her area of expertise — energy. But don’t worry, oil companies, she loves ya with that tough Alaskan-style love. And she has the energy, and will as Queen, to deal with the energy crisis and things there like that.

So, don’t talk to me about specifics. Sure, Joe Biden knew about some things. I mean, you’d have to, hanging around the Senate all those years sucking up the taxpayer’s money (after all those years collecting a government salary, maybe he’s responsible for the huge debt). But this hockey mom brings energy and inspiration. Just look at how she smiles at the camera. Check out that cute wink and Alaskan accent. And the voice! Oh my, did you hear that voice?

Enough of this slow torture of the last two years of Democrat control! Republicans can veto and filibuster only so much. Stuff needs to get done. Palin is for a strong America, and is against the taxes Democrats would love to weaken the economy with. She is determined to change the tone in Washington, and wants to clean up Wall Street. Her and McCain know how to do it, and they will — just trust them. It’s time for reform, and what says reform more than a Queen Palin coronation? Just don’t expect her to follow the rules.

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The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.

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