Post-Election Republican Epiphany: ‘God Wants Us to Work with Obama!’

Republicans have been almost unanimous in quoting that a Divine inspiration has descended upon them. Apparently this heavenly apparition was bestowed upon their golden leader, John Boehner.

Mr. Boehner, his eyes glowing with enlightened envisionment, has come forth upon his Republican brethren much like Moses descending Mount Sinai, and he delivered unto to them the vision that was presented to him.

“My fellow conservatives, the Lord has issued unto me that we shall now strive to work together with Brother Obama to set forth things within this land that will cause it to grow and to thrive!” Mr. Boehner held his hands out palms outward much the same way that Jesus must have when addressing his disciples. The Republicans assembled there clapped as was expected of them, but strangely seemingly without any real verve to it.

Oddly, the Democrats have been praying relentlessly for just such a revelation to be bestowed upon someone, ANYONE, within the Republican Party, yet for four years this prayer went unanswered. This sudden descendence of the Holy Spirit upon the leader of the Republican Party came, interestingly, a day after Mr. Obama cinched his re-election campaign despite the best efforts of the Republicans to overthrow him.

Strangely this revelation never came to them at any time sooner during the four years that they spent voting against almost every policy and effort Obama made or effort that he put forth to get things rolling in the country, literally kneecapping him at every turn. The Republicans claim this odd timing of the blessing is just another sign that they are God’s Chosen Party.

But many are happy that the alleged ‘Party Of God’ at last has a real religious experience to prove their worth. Of course, it brings to mind a couple other popular Christian sayings — “By their actions ye shall know them,” and “Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

God Himself was not available for an interview on the subject.

Roger Freed