A new Death Star, believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, has been adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’s movie studios and have been secretly used to rebuild the monstrous machine of destruction by the Republicans as a tool of their 2012 political pursuits. An earlier version was test run by Vladimir Putin in his successful takeover of Russia in the late 1900s. It was then re-stolen and rebuilt by the American Right using the gargantuan profits made by Halliburton in the Iraq War, now referred to as the ‘Liberating Iraq’s Oil’ campaign.
The designs were revamped by the Sith Lord Darth Cheney himself , who now obscures his face behind a dark mask and his voice through a breathing apparatus so no one will recognize him (It doesn’t work). He wears a special robotic costume that keeps what is left of his heart ticking.
Unfortunately for the Repubs, in 2008 Obama Skywalker learned of their dastardly plot and upset their dark plans before the Death Star was at it’s full capacity. But evil has the ability to ever bloom anew. This time they won’t let anything stop them. Nothing less than total control will be enough. And nothing less than total obedience. Through the tentacles of its brainwashing media Fox News, the conspiracy of dozens of corporate merchants and through hundreds of pseudo-American political front organizations the evil Empire has amassed an overwhelming amount of power. The Dark Side of the Force is strong with them.
May the world be ready for 2012.
May the Force be with you, young Skywalker!