[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
Election Day is almost here and two states, Arkansas and Massachusetts have ballot initiatives to legalize medical marijuana. What does this mean? It means pot is a smoking hot issue and both states have candidates looking to grab votes based on whether or not they back the controversial laws.
It also means that both sides are lighting up the phone banks (no pun intended) asking for donations to fight for or against legalization. In Arkansas, response to those contributions has taken a bizarre turn.
A spokesperson for Arkansans for Compassionate Care, the organization campaigning for the legalization measure on the ballot, says that instead of money, they have received hundreds of envelopes filled with twigs and seeds in support of the measure.
“We’re not quite sure what to make of it,” said Darryl Hartnell, vice chairman of ACC. “While the twigs and seeds appear to have come from authentic cannabis plants, it is not certain what that has to do with our requests for donations.”
Montel Williams, former talk show host and huge supporter of the Arkansas measure to legalize medical marijuana, said he may know why people are sending in the unsmokeable portions of the plants.
“It is a show of solidarity, plain and simple. A stupid show of solidarity,” he said. “But honestly, after paying the street price for an ounce of pot, not many of the supporters have enough cash to send in, so they send a cry for help instead.”
“Could be,” said Hartnell, “although we’re thinking it might have something to do with our adoption of the song Twigs and Seeds by Jesse Winchester as the anthem of our movement, which disproves everything opponents are saying about how the use of marijuana affects a person’s ability to reason properly.”
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